A reviewer's GUIDE to reviewers: to the tune of Sympathy for the Devil

Emedia Professional, March, 1999 by Jan Ozer

They say the best way to get good results is to make your expectations clear. I've reviewed products for EMedia for more than five years, but I've never explained my expectations, described what I really do for a living. Credit a recent, painfully frustrating review-that-wasn't with this unsolicited, but necessary, journey to enlightenment. I hope this will make it easier for manufacturers to improve their chances of getting good reviews. Since many of these same factors also relate to customer satisfaction, I thought I'd put a catchy title on it, make it a column, and get paid to do it. Believe me, I've done enough free work for vendors this week.

Pleased to meet you ...

Hi, I'm Jan. I review products for a living, mainly with columns, training, and consulting revenue (shameless plug) making up the balance. No day job, no trust fund, I do this to pay the rent, buy my wife diamonds, and put the baby girl through college.

Like most magazines, EMedia pays by the article, not by the hour. Like most reviewers, I try to do a good job, test thoroughly, identify relevant product advantages and disadvantages, and write a pithy, insightful review. If I can slip a joke or two past my draconian editors, my day is made. Finish in a few hours, I make a pretty good rate. Finish in a lot of hours and I start dreaming about getting a real job with benefits, advancement, and a retirement plan. One recent DVD authoring system took so long to review that I started answering the phone, "You want fries with that?"

Hope you guess my name ...

To streamline the DVD review process, we ask all vendors to send their products in pre-configured systems so we can just plug them in and start testing. I'd recommend you readers do the same.

We received this unit as a turnkey system, and it was ten hours before I captured my first lick of video. Can't describe the complete catastrophe, but it would have been easier to install the components from scratch. Which leads to Rule Number 1: Make the product brain-dead easy to install.

Matrox makes a video-editing product called the Millennium G200 that is remarkably similar in configuration to said DVD authoring system. It comes with a poster-sized quick-start guide and a configuration utility that confirms all audio/video connections. It installs in about five minutes and street cost is well under $300.

Said DVD authoring product costs well over $30,000 and had none of these niceties, perhaps illustrating a totally misguided assumption that people who pay more expect less. I certainly don't, and I assume most customers don't either.

Most reviewers try not to let a bad installation sour them on a product; after all, you do it once and then it's over. But I'm human, and a ten-hour install kills my efficiency and takes me away from my wife and baby girl. Hard to feel good about a product after that, just like it would be hard for a real customer to feel good about the product after undergoing the same torturous installation.

Make your product brain dead-simple to install and I'm happily up to my elbows in dirty diapers with cash in the bank. Strange synchronicity, Mr. Vendor--you get a better product review, fewer tech support calls, and lower returns.

But what's puzzling you ...

When I review a product, the first thing I look for are marketing materials with relevant information like price and configuration options. I also hunt down reviews by other writers and love white papers, feature comparisons, and reviewer's guides.

Throw in a press kit containing these materials with your product and save me an hour or more of research and maybe shave some testing time. You'll also ensure that I test your strongest features and understand your product positioning.

Place these materials on your Web site and you'll convince some prospects to purchase as well. After all, they care about product strengths and positioning also. Thus, Rule Number 2: Create and send me the materials I need to do my job.

Rule Number 3 is to use sample tutorials in your manuals and include all required assets on the CD-ROM. I've reviewed tons of software products and learn most quickly when I can follow a process in the manual and then do it myself. Presumably, many of your customers are the same way.

Finally, I work more than I care to on nights and weekends. So provide me with technical support contacts for these off-hour times. If your products cost more than a few hundred dollars and are used in mission-critical tasks, do the same for your customers, who may also work nights and weekends.

Is the nature of my game ...

Overall, it's a lot more gratifying to write a positive review than a negative one, hence our interests parallel. So after investing your fortune in product development and marketing, take these simple steps to help ensure that you get a great review and favorable reception by your customers.

Speaking metaphorically, of course, the Rolling Stones said it best:

So if you meet me Have some courtesy Have some sympathy, and some taste Use all your well-learned politesse