Cheesy corporate cheers

Workforce, Oct, 2002 by Carroll Lachnit

No one knows better than HR that it's sometimes tough to get people inspired about work. When you can't give raises and when your top sales award is a set of steak knives, what can a company do to inspire and motivate employees?

Get them to sing, of course.

There's nothing like an inspirational corporate anthem to rally the troops. Here's the chorus to KPMG's "Our Vision of Global Strategy," the current chart-topper at the IT Anthems Web site (www.zdnet.co.uk/specials/2002/it-anthems):

KPMG, we're strong as can be
A team of power and energy
We go for the gold
Together we hold onto our vision of global strategy

Peter Judge, who edits the IT Anthems site for ZDNet UK. says some of the songs (mostly submitted anonymously by employees who are appalled at the songs' cheesiness) are "deliberately ironic," and are meant to amuse customers and staff. But some anthems are serious, he says.

St. Louis-based corporate culture consultant Steve Lawler says "rah-rah" anthems are meant to bond employees with their companies on the same level that high schools build loyalty with cheers and chants at sporting events. More spirited employees are, supposedly, better employees. But, Lawler says, the notion breaks down because work is not school. "While your school can give you a bad grade or two ... it is rare that it will fire you," he says.

Corporate songs have a long history. In 1931, IBM employees had already been singing their company's praise for more than 30 years. They published their own songbook, "Fellowship Songs of International Business Machines Corporation," which collected 106 tunes that were sung at gatherings and conventions to express "the fine spirit of loyal cooperation and good fellowship which has promoted the signal success of our great IBM Corporation," according to the songbook introduction.

Most of the IBM songs' lyrics were sung to familiar popular tunes. The following sales ditty's melody is "Singin' in the Rain." "Watson" is IBM founder Thomas J. Watson:

Selling IBM, we're selling IBM,
What a glorious feeling, the world is our friend.
We're Watson 's great crew, we're loyal and true;
We 're proud of our job and we never feel blue.