The pizza dialogues

Workforce, March, 2003 by Tom Terez

For three years, Jennifer had been heading up the comp and benefits section of a large community college system in the Midwest. The job involved meetings, meetings, and more meetings--so many that she ruefully called herself the meeting queen. So when she received an e-mail message informing her of yet another get-together, she didn't make much of it. At the appointed time, she innocently walked into the conference room and took a seat--at what quickly turned into the meeting from hell.

It started out so nicely. The VP of finance and administration, who had called the meeting, welcomed Jennifer and the eight others in attendance: the associate VPs of administration, facilities, and human resources management; the directors of accounting, purchasing, technology, and the budget office; and the manager of employee relations. Then he turned his attention to the focus of the meeting. "More than 90 percent of our workforce completed the employee-satisfaction survey we conducted last month," he said. "I thought we could go over the initial findings and decide on the best way to circulate the results to employees."

The employee relations manager had prepared a one-pager showing the averages, ranges, and standard deviations for 20 survey items. She gave a handout to each attendee, and the room grew quiet as people absorbed the data. To Jennifer, most of the numbers looked good. Employees gave high marks to teamwork, work/life balance, personal development, respect, diversity, and other important factors. There were only two low ratings: employees felt little ownership of their work, and they felt unappreciated.

Suddenly, the VP cleared his throat. "I just don't understand," he said. "How can employees not feel like owners after all the improvement teams we've chartered? And what's with this lack of appreciation? I go around all the time praising and thanking them!"

He paused, apparently waiting for a reaction. Some brave soul filled the silence by noting all the survey strengths. But the VP started up again, this time dropping a bomb: "We can't share all this data with everyone," he said. "It'll only make people more negative. Let's write a summary, put it in the newsletter, and leave it at that."

The employee relations manager, who rarely held back and always seemed to speak for the silent majority, took a deep breath. "We can't do that. When we handed out the survey, we told everyone we'd share all the results. We have to keep our word." The VP countered: "Did we tell them we'd share all the results in raw-data form or in digest form?" The employee relations manager: "You're splitting hairs. People will want to know. We set the expectation--now we have to deliver."

While everyone else hunkered down in protective silence, the VP and manager launched into a raging debate. The meeting ended with raw nerves, bad feelings, and complete confusion over how to proceed. The group's only decision was to meet again in a week.

An unusual outcome? Hardly. Many top managers have earned their positions in part because they're so passionate about their ideas--and so good at selling them. Conversations easily turn into debates and discussions, with people eagerly (sometimes aggressively) making their points.

The word discussion has Latin roots--made up of dis, which means "apart," and a phonetic simplification of quatere, "to shake, to beat." How accurate! Most discussions amount to someone stating and repeating a position and trying to break down the other person's position.

Dialogue is something quite different, The word brings together the Greek terms dia (meaning "through") and logos ("word, thought"). Dialogue is about achieving a deeper level of understanding through a process of collective sharing and reflection. If three people come together and keep their ears and minds wide open, they can leave with a fourth perspective that's different and richer than their original (and individual) perspectives.

A week after the meeting from hell, Jennifer and her colleagues went back for the sequel. A note was posted on the conference-room door: "This room is too small! Let's meet downstairs?' They went downstairs, where the VP was waiting.

"I Was hoping we could get this meeting off to a better start," he said. "It's almost lunchtime. Let's talk about this over lunch?' They headed to a nearby pizza restaurant.

To start the conversation, the VP asked each person to weigh in with his or her thoughts on how to circulate the survey information. When it came time for him to speak, he went right back to his previous concerns, focusing on the two "complaint areas" and wondering whether it made sense to broadcast the workplace's weaknesses.

That's when the budget office director chimed in and changed the tenor of the conversation. "Those ratings on empowerment and acknowledgment are low," she said. "And they're disappointing, given how hard we've worked to build teams and recognize people for their efforts and great results. We all take this personally because we put so much energy and commitment into our work."