Old school

Diesel Progress North American Edition, Jan, 2005 by Mike Osenga

It started at the sink at the YMCA early one morning.

"Ah dude, you're like, ready old school."

"Huh?"

Dude nodded at my toilet kit.

It took me a second. Right Guard deodorant. Old Spice shaving cream.

Old school. Tough point to argue with those two consumer products. I could answer that the Right Guard was on sale and the shaving cream had been hiding in the back of the closet since forever. But point taken.

But then, that same day, driving to work listening to The Bob & Tom Show, the official Diesel Progress morning radio show they started teasing one of them, Tom I think, that he had absolutely no cultural reference points after say, 1974.

Before I realized it, I was yelling at the radio. "So! So what!"

Which prompted a storage look or two from the SUV in the next lane.

At what point in your lift do you suddenly realize you have lost complete and total touch with popular culture?

And at what point do you realize you don't care?

Of course, it all started when the American League started using the designated hitter and it has been a long, slow slide since then.

It happens at the point in life when bands you used to stand on chairs screaming "rock and roll!" at, show up on the History Channel.

It's even worse when balms "after my time" are on the same channel.

It's when you realize you know more about green tea than Green Day.

It's when Grace Slick, once the mistress of weird, shows up on the cover of Good Housekeeping. Weird however is judged on an entirely different scale today. See Love, Courtney.

It's at the point when people, somewhat mockingly I think, refer to your youth as "In the Day."

It happens when you go through the Top 10 albums (CDs, whatever!) and realize you've only heard of one name and he's the son of somebody you used to listen to.

But what the beck, they're re-releasing every album since 1959 in CD anyway, even Canned Heat, so who needs new music!

It is most definitely at a point when anyone you thought was cool now has an AARP card.

It is certainly at the point when the people in Viagra commercials are younger than you are.

It is at a point where you shake your head when every military action any where, any time is compared to Vietnam.

You do however miss some of the little things, like declarative spin-flee sentences, the first amendment and two political parties.

Thus, if it's not too old school: our best wishes for a happy new year and all the best for a safe, healthy and profitable 2005. Dudes.

Mike Osenga

mosenga@dieselpub.com