Fred Couples' Guide to Life : From hoops to pets to washing cars, the secret is to keep things simple - and golf

Golf Digest, Nov, 2000 by Fred Couples, Guy Yocom

People say golf is a microcosm of life, but I always thought it was the other way around. Life is more like golf than golf is like life. Think about it: The idea is to obtain control and plenty of distance without too much effort. You want a sense of rhythm and consistency. You want to be successful, but not at the expense of friends, family or breaking the rules. Life is fair for the most part, but not always--I lost both my parents within the space of three years, and my wife, Thais, is in remission in her battle with breast cancer. You relish the good shots and learn to forget the bad ones. Trying to force the issue rarely works. You just keep going and try to get a little better every day. So, life is like golf.

That's about as complicated as I care to make it. I've been told that people admire me a lot, but I'm not exactly sure why. I just move through life and try to let life move through me. For whatever reason, it's worked. I've become very happy, thanks to Thais and the kids and a career that has been very rewarding.

If this look at my life at home and on the golf course reveals something helpful, that'll make me happy, too.

A garden-variety hobby--and how I almost lost a leg

My dad was a groundskeeper at the Woodlands Park Zoo in Seattle for the better part of his life. One of my favorite memories is going to work with him at age 9 and driving his Scotsman cart. Just hanging around him, I learned some basic gardening techniques, such as how to cut branches off at an angle and in such a way as to make them grow in a certain direction.

It's funny how that knowledge stays with you. When we bought our house in Santa Barbara, Calif., last year, the whole property looked like something out of "The Munsters." Weeds, plants and flowers were overgrown something awful. Once the gardeners got things under control, Thais and I began doing much of the gardening ourselves. We find it therapeutic.

Many of the roses behind the house are very old. Thais found one that was tagged "Ingrid Bergman." The house was built in 1927, and at first we thought the actress gave it to the owner as a gift or planted it herself, but it turns out there's a rose variety named after her.

Gardening's addictive--and it can be dangerous. One time, I almost took my leg off with a new chain saw. I was cutting a branch, and the chain saw just dove down and through it and missed my thigh by four inches. I put the thing right back in the box and gave it to a friend. I've left the dicey stuff to the gardeners ever since. I stick to pruning and weeding.

Pool time is cool time

The pool is a luxury we can't get enough of. Friends and family are always out there. It's a beautiful pool, and it always looks inviting. Our kids, GiGi and Oliver, have learned to swim, so they're into it big-time. So is George, our Lab. He likes to jump in and get right back out, probably to lower his body temperature. I'm like George--in and out, just to cool off.

You won't find many pictures of me in a swim suit. I look like an out-of-shape golfer, though I do tan well. Thais, on the other hand, looks incredible. She can do 20 laps in the pool, no problem. I can do about 10. She's twice as fast as I am, too. But she's also younger.

Take Your Kids to Work Day

For me, this is what it's all about. That's Oliver, then age 6, and Dru Love, who was 5, caddieing for Davis and me in the Par-3 Tournament at the Masters in 1999. It was a riot. The little guys carried a few irons that Davis and I shared. We handled our putters. Even then it was almost too much for them; little Oliver got a little overheated walking all nine holes and took a while to recuperate.

This year it was GiGi's turn to caddie for me, and Alexia Love's turn to caddie for Davis. GiGi was nervous before we got out there--she was only 9, but she knew what the Masters was about--and she got kind of sick, too. Next year it'll be Oliver's and Dru's turn again, and they're already jacked up about it. Davis and I are excited, too. There's no sweeter moment than having your kids around during one of the biggest weeks of the year.

What I've learned about being a stepparent

I married Thais when Oliver was 5 and GiGi was 8. Having never been a parent, I've had to learn as I go:

* It's better to be a father to the kids than a hero or a friend.

* The best way to be assertive is to vary the tone of your voice. You don't have to yell to make your point.

* When I'm gone, I try to call home at least twice a day. Sometimes Oliver will do the "Hi-Fred-bye-Fred" routine, and I feel like saying, "Hey, I'm not finished." But the important thing is to talk every day.

* The key to discipline is consistency. I learned that from my dad.

* When I was 14, some friends and I smoked some cigarettes. I hid the pack in my drawer. The next morning, my mom caught me cold. I was amazed, not realizing that I came home smelling like cigarettes. The lesson: Have the awareness to always know what your kids are up to.

* "Spoiled" has everything to do with how kids behave, and not much to do with how many toys they have.