Local golf notes - golfing news - Brief Article

Golf Digest, Dec, 1998 by Dan Jenkins

New rules: No shoulder holsters, and automatic weapons must be concealed in golf bags

Sweater Bob Gaines, the director of golf at Swamp Oaks Country Club, leaves next month to take a similar position at Oak Elms Country Club. Sweater Bob is excited about the challenge. "Frankly," he says, "and I don't mean no disparagement on Swamp Oaks-they been good to me-I'm looking forward to working at a club where most members don't live in double-wides."

Fried Gator Tail Night at Lonely Oaks Country Club has been moved from Tuesday night to Thursday night. All you can eat, or "Pitch till you win," says longtime Lonely Oaks chef Buster Morrison.

The vandals who burned "Tiger this" into the 14th green at Oak Pines Country Club have confessed. It seems they are all junior golfers and sons of Oak Pines members. Punishment is under consideration.

Correction: Last week's announcement of a hole-in-one for Mrs. R.K. Springer on the 10th at Whispering Oaks was in error. It was Mrs. Springer's very first round of golf, and she hadn't realized that an ace consisted of hitting the ball only one time on a particular hole.

Dept. of He Did It Again: Ed (Old 32) Conrad, now 65, is the men's senior club champion at Valley Oaks Country Club for the 15th year in a row. And once again, he took both the net and gross trophies. With his 32-handicap, he had no trouble claiming the net prize, and his 76 was good enough to capture gross as well.

Cardigan Joe Clower, director of golf at Lost Oaks Country Club, leaves in two weeks to join Melon Golf Inc., inventor of the popular 10-, 11- and 12-woods. Joe will be in charge of Melon Golf's humorous head-cover department. Congrats to the city's own Amy Evelyn Spinks. In case you didn't notice, the 14-year-old grabbed her first LPGA Tour victory last week-the Hiking Boot Classic in Dusty Cabin, Calif. "I didn't think I had a chance after my putter went postal, but like, wow!" she said.

Head pro Rocky Murdock announces new rules for Vanishing Oaks Municipal. Shirts must be worn, no more shoulder holsters, and automatic weapons must be concealed in golf bags.

Due to a recent flood, the Father-Son Mother-Daughter Uncle-Nephew Scramble at Oak Marsh has been rescheduled for the last week in December.

Oak Fringe Country Club is finally adding four more holes and will have a full 18 by the first of the year. Club prez Vance Scroggins says, "A lot of our members complain that it's going to raise their scores, but I think we have to prepare for the 21st century."

Head pro Skinny Dugan is still checking if it was a world record when 12-year-old Robbie Swift reported three holes-in-one on only nine holes at Pecan Oaks Municipal. "It may not be official," says Dugan. "There were no witnesses."

Serious dilemma: Magnolia Oaks Country Club, home of the annual TBH&F Classic on the PGA Tour, is still looking for $5 million. That's the increase in prize money Commissioner Tim Finchem is demanding or the tournament will be dropped off the schedule next year.

Reading list: Take a couple of strokes off your game by glancing through Dr. Zeke Rodenza's latest instruction book, My Keen Mind, Your Silly Swing.

If you like stupid and pretentious golf novels, there's another new one out: McTavish Goes for the Green by Muirfield Birkdale. And you can bust me if that's the writer's real name.

Dept. of Well Done: 16-year-old Tiger Jones is the city junior champ again. Third year in a row for the long-hitting kid from Sleepy Oaks Country Club. He beat Tiger Simpson, 3 and 2, in the semifinals and Tiger Burns, 6 and 5, in the final out at Tiger Oaks Municipal.

Good News Dept.: The whappers at Harbor Oaks are celebrating the opening of the cartpath bridge that leads from the sixth green to the seventh tee. No more canoe trips.

Happy one-year anniversary to Honey Oaks assistant pro Tommy (Grab) Holt and his wife, Rosie, the director of golf.

Good luck to Sycamore Oaks pro Sleeveless Bo Harder, our local club pro champion. He's finally rounded up 50 sponsors who like his chances on the big tour, and he will soon be off to the Qualifying school.

Dept. of Sad News: Long Jim Dugger, the pro at Oak Grove who hits those 400-yard drives, is still in a coma after his freak accident the other day. Going for the green on the 430-yard 14th, the super-flex shaft of Long Jim's 56-inch Hindenburg Bertha wrapped around his neck and the clubhead caught him in the temple. I guess you've proved that distance isn't everything, Long Jim.

Thought for the day: Your slice don't hear you holler.