Birdies and Bogeys - facts and information about golf and golfers

Golf Digest, Dec, 1999 by Mike Stachura

Jarmo Sandelin is a little jealous

Paul Stankowski wears spiked sandals and spiked high-tops at the Sony Open. He shoots 76-76 to miss the cut.

Preferably a wide-screen television

John Daly's plans after shooting an opening- round 68 at the U.S. Open: "Eat about six cheeseburgers, a bag of Oreos and a big thing of milk, watch 'SportsCenter' and hopefully see myself on TV."

And that's just to cover his losses at Krispy Kreme

By violating a no-drinking, no-gambling clause, John Daly walks away from a $3-million-a-year contract with Callaway and sells a $50,000 Corvette to meet expenses.

The Bob Dole Open

A tournament in Malaysia planned to reward an ace with a year's supply of erectile-dysfunction pills.

Tom Lehman asked if he could do it

Sergio Garcia gets a buzz cut to celebrate his win at the Irish Open. Asked what he would do if he won again the following week, Garcia says, "cut my throat."

Don't you hate it when that happens?

Greg Norman decides not to buy a converted 737 jet, saying it's too large for the smaller airports he flies into.

Now he knows how the L.A. Clippers felt

Michael Jordan shoots 84-81 at the Chicago Open. "Just when you think you've got the game conquered," he says, "the game conquers you."

Version 2.0: Rabid flight attendants stomp on your line

A computer golf game from Access Software, Links Extreme Golf, features exploding golf balls, giant skeleton hazards and deathmatch golf, "where courtesy to your playing partner gets you six feet under-fast."

Flash: White House schedules Bangkok fact-finding tour

In July, Newsweek's Asia edition cover story cites an anonymous Western diplomat as saying that in the tough regional competition for investment, "Thailand has two comparative advantages: Sex and golf."

You try telling them the halfway house is out of hot dogs

During the Fatty Golf Tournament at Yale University, the biggest foursome weighs in at 1,466 pounds.

Thus setting a record for fairways hit

During a toga party at a U.S. Open hospitality tent, security guards lock up the portable toilets, so partygoers have to relieve themselves at the nearest available spot, which turns out to be the 12th fairway.

Not in those pants, you won't

In a story on Jarmo Sandelin, Golf Digest Sweden writes, "In the future, Jarmo wants to publish his memoirs. But first he wants to win all four majors." Sandelin says, "I am convinced I will [win a major]. It's only natural that I now start to win bigger and bigger tournaments. I see no reason why I won't win even bigger ones."

Since when is taking a free drop an impeachable offense?

President Clinton attempts to resolve a golf dispute between Arizona Diamondbacks pitchers Andy Benes and Todd Stottlemyre. Stottlemyre hits into an area marked by yellow stakes and demands a free drop. Benes says he should be penalized one stroke. Clinton sides with Stottlemyre.

The Golfer of the Millennium

Mac O'Grady fires a first-round 65 at the John Deere Classic, using three persimmon woods. Among his comments:

"Everything is important. Everything is unimportant. Everything is significant. Everything is insignificant. The essence of it all is to figure out what is important."