Black Men And Divorce: Implications For Culturally Competent Practice

Minority Health Today, July, 2000 by Erma Jean Lawson, Tanya L. Sharpe

Suicide Attempts

As an outgrowth of post-divorce-related depression, 20% of the men reported strong thoughts about suicide or actual suicide attempts. Vance, who was married for 10 years and divorced for 3 years, described how he considered suicide: "I said to myself, with all of the problems you got, all you got to do is pull a trigger and you won't have to worry. I wanted out so bad. So, I put the gun to my head while my 2 sons lay in the bed next to me. I just wanted to kill myself."

Physiological reactions also included stomach problems, migraine headaches, dental problems, and eyesight and hearing difficulties. Hospitalizations and emergency room visits for upset stomach, difficulty breathing, and migraine headache were common. Allen described his experience: "The divorce caused frequent asthma attacks. I had stomach problems during the night. I had migraine headaches, which occurred daily."

Barry reported similar experiences: "My allergies got worse. I just locked myself up and suffered and cried. I was diagnosed with a peptic ulcer and an irritable colon and went to the emergency room several times."

Although these responses are not unique to black men, [8,21] the number of physical symptoms reported was striking. Black men already have poorer health and a lower life expectancy than their white counterparts. Studies have shown that emotional distress experienced by divorced men intensifies post-divorce, and they report more suicidal thoughts than do women. [8,18]

Sense of Failure in Both Initiators and Non-Initiators

Although 25% of the men felt that getting a divorce was beneficial, it provoked in them a sense of failure. This led to psychological and physiological problems. For example, one respondent stated: "Even though I initiated the divorce, I was unprepared for my anger and how my body reacted. I had dental problems, migraine headaches, and was diagnosed with high blood pressure."

For those men who had initiated divorce, post-divorce adjustment was as difficult as it was for non-initiators. In fact, those who initiated their divorces experienced greater physiological complaints than did non-initiators.

Men who were at greatest risk of homicidal and suicidal thoughts were those who believed that their ex-wives did, in fact, have other relationships before their divorces were finalized. Although it is difficult to determine whether the respondents' ex-wives had in fact had other relationships during this critical time, the men in this study claimed that a wife's death would have been easier to accept. The men who believed that their ex-wives had been romantically involved with another man before the final divorce decree were more likely to undergo minor surgical procedures compared with those who did not have such beliefs. Indeed, divorce produces emotional distress, regardless of the quality of the marriage or the desire for its termination. [3,11]

Post-Divorce Distress

Social support has been correlated with positive post-divorce adjustment. [10,11,19,22] However, divorced men tend to be more socially isolated than divorced women, indicating that they adjust poorly to divorce. [11] Additionally, the availability of social support may be problematic during divorce. [23,24] First, the disruption of marriage often changes friendships. Second, those recently divorced may find that most of their friends mainly engage in couple-oriented activities. Third, patterns of interacting with family and friends might be strained because of disapproval of the divorce. Fourth, friends may feel threatened because the dissolution of the marriage of a close friend may cause them to examine their own marriages. Thus, friends may remain aloof because they feel awkward and ambiguous about the situation. They may also take sides out of loyalty to one or the other divorcing spouse and reject the other. [25,27]