KISS and tell

Art Business News, Dec, 2004 by Murray Raphel

I was listening to an interview on an FM radio station. The guest was W. Attlee Burpee whose business was selling small packages of flower and vegetable seeds. He was asked by the host his secret for success.

"My slogan" he answered.

The host asked him what it was.

"Burpee's Seeds Grow," he answered. "The first word tells you who we are. The second word tells you what we sell. The third word tells you what it does. Burpee's Seeds Grow."

What a great example of effective advertising. It follows the basic KISS formula advocated by many advertising experts: Keep It Short and Simple. (There are others who say another explanation is, "Keep It Simple, Stupid.")

What a simple, easy-to-remember and effective theme. That's the way for you to approach your gallery's advertising efforts: short and simple.

Too much advertising is 1) confusing; 2) difficult to understand; and 3) doesn't relate to the merchandise--the list is almost endless.

A common fault is to advertise a special value that interests your customers. Then, as they continue reading, they need a magnifying glass to read the tiny print listing the reasons why they can't have what they initially were promised.

The two rules for effective advertising headlines are 1) Promise a benefit that you can deriver and 2) Provoke curiosity. Whatever you do, don't negate the offer later on with "exceptions." The poet Robert Service wrote a line that said it well: "A promise made is a debt unpaid."

Many businesses promise a specific result if you buy their merchandise. But there in the small print at the bottom of the ad, they list items that don't follow the promise made in the headline that caught your attention.

Here are three examples of what advertisers say up front; then what they say in small print:

* Up front: "Buy this car for only $299 a month." Then, in small print at the bottom of the ad: "$3,245 due at signing."

* Up front: A large department store sends a mailer offering "20% off everything in the store!" Then, at the bottom of the postcard in tiny print, is a list of the items NOT on sale: "Designer clothing, name brand cosmetics, towels and pillowcases." This hardly keeps it simple.

Singer Tom Waits said it well in one of his songs: "The large print giveth and the small print taketh away."

So are there rules for you to use in your galley advertising to give the customer confidence? Sure. Here are seven.

1. Keep It Short and Simple. (The KISS formula in action). When new staff members are hired by the Nordstrom department store they are given an employee handbook. It has only one page and one rule. Rule#1: "Use your good judgment in all situations. There will be no additional rules." KISS!

2. Guarantees. Customers are more confident when they buy products that are guaranteed. Therefore, guarantees increase perceived value and will increase your sales. And for readers unsure about whether to offer guarantees, here's a little known fact: research tells us that less than 2 percent of your customers will ask for their money back when returning merchandise.

Rollie LaMarche's gallery, "Picture This!" in Alberta, Canada, has a guarantee hanging in his framing department. It says: "We will repair or replace any framing we have done at no charge." He also replaces glass that was damaged or broken at the customer's home or place of business. How many times has he had to honor this guarantee since displaying it more than a decade ago? "Less than a dozen."

Here's the guarantee from the Lands' End catalog; "Guaranteed. Period. If you're not 100% satisfied with any item, at any time, make an exchange or return it for retired of the purchase price. No ifs, ands, or buts." Do you think those last five words inspire confidence in the mind of the buyers? (Answer: YES!)

Here's what a guarantee can do for a business. When Tom Monaghan started his pizza delivery business, he was looking for a unique selling proposition to show potential customers how he was "different." He did it with this guarantee: "Pizza delivered fresh in 30 minutes or it's free." Domino's Pizza became the multimillion dollar franchise we know it as today.

Conclusion: If you do NOT offer a guarantee, you're losing many potential sales.

3. Avoid exceptions. Circuit City opened a new store to replace an existing store in our area. They sent a mailer to customers who had purchased merchandise from their old location. They enclosed a "gift card worth 10% off of your total purchase."

But there were caveats: 1) you had to spend $50 or more, and 2) the discount did NOT apply to Polk, Bose, Velodyne, Sharper Image, Disney products, gift card purchases or delivery fees.

If you're having an opening celebration and you want me to come, see and buy, then you need to make your offer good for everything in the store.

4. Make it understandable. Can I have a show of hands of those who see but-can't read the tiny white copy on your TV screen at the end of an advertisement for a bank loan or car offer? Do you wonder what those hundreds of unreadable words really mean? Do they mean to negate everything said up to that point? Are you now wary, uncomfortable, and disbelieving? What was at first informative and interesting is now, "I don't know what these words say, so I don't want to buy this product."