Keeping it in the family: Ohio couple's decision to educate their three sons at home pays off with entry to the Ivy League - Paths To Academic Success - Book Review

Black Issues Book Review, Sept-Oct, 2003 by Sharita Hunt

Paula Penn-Nabrit and her husband, Charles, removed their three sons, twins Charles and Damon, then 11 years old, and Evan, 9, from a noted prep school in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio, after concerns about the lack of black faculty and administrators. In Morning by Morning: How We Home-Schooled Our African-American Sons to the Ivy League (Villard Books, February 2003, $24.95, ISBN 0-375-50774-4), Paula Penn-Nabrit writes about her family's journey through homeschooling.

Morning by Morning does not sugarcoat the homeschool experience, and when interviewed, Penn-Nabrit spoke candidly about her son's unhappiness with homeschooling. "They were normal kids who liked to watch TV and eat pizza. For them, the whole prospect of being schooled at home was "horrible" All three boys hated it from the very beginning," she says. "Throughout the process it was an ongoing battle. One of them asked us, 'How could you keep us trapped here like animals?' About five years into the process, Damon began to relent."

Penn-Nabrit continues, "It's hard as a parent to not give your children what they want. My job as their mother is to do what I "know is best for them, communicate that, and be disciplined about it. Onlookers said outright, 'You know you're making a mistake!'" and she admits, "We didn't know what we were doing."

The Nabrits are a family who hold tightly to their faith. "Charles and I had a vision," she says, referring to the Old Testament, (Habakkuk Chapter 2, Verses 2 and 3). "Now I know why the Bible says, 'Write the vision. Make it plain.' There was no way to know we were not making a mistake until nine years later when we had finished." Penn Nabrit says she and her husband had to have "sight beyond sight. We had to look past the surface and agree with God."

What they were sure of was that the education their sons received had to be holistic, that the learning process must meet the needs their children spiritually, intellectually and physically.

SOCIALIZATION IS FAMILY, NOT SCHOOL

To critics who say that keeping children at home with limited socialization is unhealthy for kids, Penn-Nabrit writes, "I have always viewed socialization as continuous and unavoidable. Everybody gets socialized; it's just that some people are more adequately socialized." Throughout the book, readers are shown how her sons' lives were varied and expansive, yet without the intense negative social influences of the traditional school environment. The nuclear and extended family, considered arcane by some, is of central social value to the Nabrits. Nonnegotiable time each weekend was devoted to sitting together in church and to a Soul Food-esque Sunday dinner at Paula's mother's house.

HIRING A "FACULTY"

Though both are highly educated--Penn-Nabrit attended Wellesley and has earned her law degree and her husband attended Dartmouth--the Nabrits knew they could not teach all of the subjects their sons needed due to lack of interest and time constraints. "We agreed to do the bulk of the teaching ourselves, and to supplement our efforts by hiring trained professionals," she says. So tutors were hired. All were graduate students or held doctorates. And all but their math teacher, who is a black at woman, were black males--either African or African American. The boys themselves were key participants in the process of selecting the "faculty."

SCHEDULING--HOMEROOM

"God is a God of order," Penn-Nabrit states emphatically. She shares in her book how she scheduled each week, but left room for things to fall apart. During their homeschool years, they lived without cable and video games, and instituted a daily 20 minutes of silent, independent reading (comic books and TV Guide did not count).

She and her husband juggled schooling with their consulting business, which included travel. The boys traveled with them (funded by accumulated frequent-flier miles) and helped with the business.

To stay true to the vision of a holistic education, they scheduled volunteer activities at the science museum and sports. "We used Columbus parks and recreation centers to meet our kid's need for athletic activity. The boys took fencing, golf, swimming, tae kwon do and tennis. Swimming and fencing lessons evolved into team-sport activities. The boys were exposed to and participated in the arts. Religious practice was a part of their everyday family life, so going to church was not a "meaningless and empty ritual." Each boy had a "Rites of Passage" ceremony at age 13.

THE TEST

The Nabrits remained consistent and disciplined throughout the 10 years they homeschooled. They felt triumphant when their sons were accepted at Ivy League schools: Damon and Charles to Princeton, and Evan, Amherst.

Then the unexpected occurred. "We failed to anticipate the impact of re-entry. It was ugly." At Princeton, Penn-Nabrit notes, there was open hostility. "Charles and Damon were stopped by the campus police several times." Each time, Mr. Nabrit went to campus and was told, she explains, "That Charles and Damon lacked appreciation for having been admitted to Princeton." Young black men, sure and confident of themselves, were not the expected there.