What would you do if…?: Some of the same conflicts you've seen in school can also occur on the job. Here are some of the most common ones and how to handle them - Strategies for Success - "Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth" report results - Statistical Data Included

Career World, April, 2002 by Tamra B. Orr

The results of the latest "Report Card on the Ethics of American Youth" are in...and they are disturbing. More than 20,000 middle and high school students took part in the survey, and the statistics show some shocking trends:

* Seventy-one percent of all high school students admitted that they cheated on an exam at least once.

* Ninety-two percent of the students had lied to their parents, 78 percent lied to teachers, and more than a quarter of them admitted that they would lie in order to get a job.

* Forty percent of males and 30 percent of females stated they had stolen something from a store.

Traits such as these will lead to trouble in school and on the job. Even if you aren't the person who is dishonest, you may have to deal with the consequences of the actions of someone who is.

Cheating Classmates and Colleagues

Dennis watched as Carol kept turning her hand over to look at the math formulas she'd written there. He knew she was cheating. He made sure he kept his paper well covered and kept glancing at Mrs. Watson up front, hoping that she'd catch on to what was happening.

Have you ever watched a classmate cheat on a test? Perhaps you've done it a time or two yourself. It happens in the workplace too-tests to pass to a new competency level may be leaked to employees, or a co-worker may "accidentally" come across information that could be used for a promotion. No matter where it occurs, cheating can harm others.

Cheating, in every degree, is a form of lying; and it usually causes feelings of guilt and remorse later. Certainly a cheater will lose out because he or she isn't learning the information needed to pass the test or get a promotion. As a result, there is no sense of achievement.

What can be done in a situation like this? Turning in the student or co-worker is almost certainly going to cause hard feelings and perhaps earn you a reputation as a snitch. Dr. Ted Feinberg, assistant executive director of the National Association of School Psychologists, recommends that the first step you take is to talk to the person. "This is an important moral dilemma. Let the person know that what he or she is doing makes you uncomfortable," he says. "Ask the person to [stop]. If that doesn't work, talk the situation over with your family or another appropriate adult. A counselor or school psychologist could help you find a solution that won't hurt the cheater, but [will] give him or her a chance to 'exit gracefully' from the situation."

Stealing Students and Staff

Linda gasped as she saw her friend Susan stick a bottle of perfume in her backpack. She knew she hadn't paid for it. Susan was shoplifting!

Shoplifting is a form of stealing that some teens engage in. In fact, 30 percent of all shoplifters are teenagers. Stores across the nation must cope with the theft of $25 million in merchandise each day. This means higher prices as store owners adjust to cover their losses. Why do teens do it? Some do it because they're stressed by life events such as divorce or the death of a loved one. Some simply do it because they want things they can't afford, while many others may do it just for the challenge or because they feel pressure from their peers.

If you see a friend steal perfume from a store, a CD from school, or a computer mouse from work, you need to do something. This isn't borrowing. Dr. Feinberg says that stealing is a legal and moral issue, and like cheating, it's something that you should discuss with trusted adults. You can try talking to your friend or co-worker to try to dissuade him or her. Try not to hang out too much with that person. You might end up being accused of wrongdoing also. If talking doesn't work, go to a teacher, counselor, or your boss and discuss it.

According to J. Michael Farr, co-author of A Young Person's Guide to Getting and Keeping a Good Job, being dishonest is the number-one reason employers list for firing a worker. "Most employers are now screening new applicants to eliminate people who have been dishonest with previous employers," he finds. "They just don't want to pay someone who steals from them or cannot be trusted."

Gossiping Guys and Girls

Janice heard the rumor about her when she got to school that morning. It was ridiculous, but it was spreading like wildfire. What should she do about it?

Rumors are a kind of social weapon that people can use against you at school and at work. They aren't much fun, but the key to keeping them under control is simple: Don't give rumor mongers the reaction they are looking for. Laugh it off, ignore it, stay calm and cool. Don't protest--it just makes you look guilty. Don't try to take revenge either. There's no point, and it just brings you down to their level. If the rumor is a serious one that could result in your suspension from school or the loss of your job, go to an authority immediately and tell him or her what has happened before the rumor gets too far.

Works and Plays Well with Others

Other similar social weapons some people use are stereotyping, name calling, and labeling. These are "rumors that stick," in a sense, and they can be very hurtful. The best reaction to them is also much the same: Keep calm, roll with them, and don't react You can also choose to embrace the label--be proud that you are a geek, a loner, a bookworm, or a brain. You can also work on behaving in ways that go against the label. If you're called a loner, start a new after-school group or start a luncheon group at work. Try to twist the label into being something positive, or just take a "whatever" attitude. If you don't react strongly to the label, it is much more likely to fade away. Always keep in mind that one of the top 10 reasons employers fire someone, according to Farr and his co-author, Marie Pavlicko, is that the employee fails to get along with other workers. Being on the receiving end of a rumor or passing one along can certainly harm your relationships with co-workers. As Fan says, "You don't have to lik e all the people you work with, but it is important that you get along with them."