Sorry, but … dealing with rejection

Career World, April-May, 2004 by Tamra B. Orr

"NO has destroyed more hopes and dreams than have all the wars since the dawn man."

--Stanton Royce, MBA

How can you deal with rejection and keep on going? Your application was perfect, and your interview was flawless. You nailed every question, and you were totally qualified for this job. However, to your shock and amazement, you did not get it--you were rejected! Why does it happen--and even more important, how are you supposed to cope with it?

Reasonable and Unreasonable

There are a variety of reasons someone does not get a job. Some are preventable, and some just are not. For example, you might have missed out because there were 400 applicants for one position, making your chances numerically slim. Perhaps you were rejected because the boss's nephew got the job instead. Maybe the person who interviewed you was having a rotten day, and that feeling spilled over onto your encounter. These reasons are out of your control, so don't dwell on them. Instead, focus on the ones that are preventable--the ones you can do something about.

Points to Consider

Here are some of the most important elements that go into getting--or not getting--a job:

Inappropriate personal appearance. It may be the talk of your school, but the latest fad should not be part of what you wear to an interview. Piercings, for example, may make a statement to your friends, but they almost certainly won't make the same statement to a potential employer, nor will too much cologne or jewelry.

Inappropriate attitude. This can be tricky. You need to be confident without appearing cocky, and talkative without rambling. Be respectful and attentive. Show interest in the company and the position you are applying for. Ask questions, but don't focus on how much you're going to get paid and when vacation is coming. Always be punctual.

Inappropriate credentials. If you are applying for a job that requires more education or experience than you have, you are likely to be rejected. Your resume will need to highlight your strengths and abilities. Some employers frown if your GPA isn't high enough or if you aren't involved in any kind of extracurricular activities. They also look closely at your job history for indications of stability.

Other common reasons for rejection include sloppy applications (see "The Almighty Application"), an inflexible schedule, or lack of references.

The Answer Is Still No

Even if you do it all right, from application through interview, you may still be rejected. While you don't have any power over the final decision, you can decide how you are going to respond to it. Keep three things in mind: Get feedback so you can make changes; don't take the rejection personally; and keep trying.

When you're rejected, ask the employer for his reasons, if possible. Do it professionally and calmly; you are here to learn, not argue. What you find out may give you the insight you need to improve your chances of succeeding the next time. Jane Salmons, senior career adviser at Working Careers, says: "Although you may not always like to hear negative feedback, remember that the purpose of the call is to help you in the future. So whatever you do, don't argue. You've asked for an opinion, so respect it and use it positively. Also, remember that the company may have a future job for which you would be suitable. For example, the first-choice candidate may not be able to take the position, or another suitable vacancy may arise. So don't burn your bridges."

Once you have found out why you were not selected, take this information and act on it. Harry Freedman, chief executive at Career Energy, says: "Get feedback as soon as possible. If the interviewers point out specific shortcomings, then take action to improve. You spend more time at work than anywhere else, so it is worth investing time in acquiring the skills and tools needed to drive your career forward."

Next, don't take rejection personally. It does not mean you are incompetent. It means this job didn't work out, so stay focused on the next one. Get right back out there and try again--with a little extra knowledge and experience on your side. It's OK to feel glum for a bit. But then get out of the house, spend some time with friends, reflect on what the experience taught you, and start filling out applications again.

Rejection can often be one of the most important experiences you will ever have. Look to it for insight, accept it as part of life, and go on--because the next job is out there waiting. As someone once wrote, "One more job rejection is one step closer to a job offer."

The Almighty Application

The very first impression most employers will have of you comes through that application form you fill out and turn in. Make sure you give it the time and attention it deserves. Don't fill it out between classes or when your parents are pushing you to get to bed. Take your time and make sure you do a good job with it. Here are the most common mistakes made on job applications

* Sloppy or unclear handwriting

* Grammar errors