OyBay - Company Business and Marketing

Industry Standard, The, Sept 11, 2000 by Lessley Anderson

"They are nice, nice people -- attorney generals, psychiatrists," says Ruby's mom, Nicole, who grew up in Israel and was once married to a rabbi. Nicole has since moved in with the engineer she met online, but neither of them has suspended their memberships yet, and both continue to get e-mail from "lovely people" on JDate.

"When we make our decision that we want to stay together forever, we'll take [our postings on JDate] down," says Nicole.

One major appeal of JDate is, in many ways, the same as that of any Internet dating site. Unlike the offline world, where one might prowl bars and parties, nag friends to arrange blind dates and wait around for fate to work its magic, dating sites are frequented by a self-selecting group that is looking for the same thing.

Indeed, apart from her mother's coaxing, this was a strong draw for Ruby. "I find it incredibly difficult to go up to someone interesting I see in a cafe and introduce myself," she says. "And I'm not the type of person who's in lots of clubs where you might meet someone."

Unlike many personals sites -- often just electronic versions of the personal ads in newspapers, known for being full of lonely hearts and sex workers -- JDate and other dating sites like Match.com or Matchmaker.com aren't hampered by a kinky legacy.

In fact, the sites work to filter out that element of chance that makes offline dating tedious and risky. Members of matching sites are asked about smoking, race, religion, appearance, location and other "non-negotiables," in the words of one Match.com member. The site can then e-mail a list of other member profiles that most closely match their criteria. Internet dating sites tend to appeal to people who are willing to favor collaborative filtering over kismet.

But for Ruby, like other JDate members, there was another concern.

"Since I'm actually looking, I might as well narrow it down," she relates. "And I ultimately want to marry a Jewish man."

This, it turns out, is one of JDate's most valuable benefits -- to offer connections to others in the tribe. To accomplish this goal, JDate's check boxes help pinpoint what type of Jew you're looking for -- Orthodox, Reform and so on.

"Even if you're not extremely religious, it's a common bond," says one JDate member.

"It's been drilled into me since childhood," says Simon. "My grandmother to this day says, 'Charlie, whatever you do, marry a Jew.'"

JDate isn't without its critics, however. Though online courtship can be deeply romantic and meaningful, some argue that to get to that point, one must first pass a harsh looks test. Like other competing dating sites, including Match.com and Matchmaker.com, it's difficult to get even a single e-mail response if you don't post a photo. Forty percent of JDate's members post photos of themselves; 30 percent put photos on Match.com. JDaters who post photos are eight times more likely to get a response than those who don't, And unlike in a bar or an offline blind date, you can't compensate for so-so looks with winning conversation.