Summer lovin' - Guys

Girls' Life, August-Sept, 2003 by Paula Chase-Hyman

Happens so fast. The pool is closed, school's about to start and (gulp) it's time to get over that summer crush.

After some glorious lazy afternoons catching rays, taking dips and grabbing soft cones...summer s over. So soon? How can you focus on school (ugh!) when your heart is in the back pocket of your tall, tan crush?

Yes, summer crushes can be hotter than asphalt in July. No matter how short-lived, summer romances can be intense. So it shouldn't come as a shock if your heart melts faster than ice cream on a 100-degree day. Since there's no school, homework or practice on your agenda, it's easy to get sucked into major boy-on-the-brain mode. If you find yourself having strong feelings for this seasonal dude, know that it's perfectly normal. But don't get too carried away.

Autumn is a time for change, and we figure you have three choices: 1) Cherish the memories of summer's preview as you troll for fall's main attraction, 2) crank up the hopes that your crush's 300-watt smile will shine on you next summer, or 3) take your chances on turning him into a fill-time BF.

CAN YOU WAVE THIS GUY GOODBYE?

It's tempting to try to transform your brief encounter into a full-fledged BF-GF thing. After all, he seems so right-on in the boyfriend department. You'd be crazy not to snag this cutie for your fill-time love muffin, right? ... Wrong.

First off, since your time together has been brief, you've likely seen only the good-guy qualities of this hot-weather hunk. Maybe he is all that, but how can you really know after only a few weeks of abbreviated bliss? Second, because of circumstances like distance, chances are this guy is more likely to be a fond memory than your future prom date.

If you don't have a scrapbook or diary, start one now--and file this guy away under "Hot Guys I Knew and Loved." Capture exactly how he made you feel, things you admire about him and cool stuff you did together over that short period of time. You can smile dreamily at that picture of you two on the dock, and then kiss it goodbye before pasting it into the pages of your memory book.

COULD HE BE THE COMEBACK KID?

When it's geographically impossible to hook up September through May, but you'll both be back in the same place June through August, there's no reason you can't put the crush on ice until you're back at camp or your dad's or wherever. Until then, keep it casual--and get a true friendship rolling.

Become the buddy he enjoys IMing, e-mailing or chatting with on cell, and you'll be in a prime position to pounce next season. Staying in touch also helps you figure out whether he was the real deal or just a mirage.

IS IT POSSIBLE HE'S 365 GUY?

Honestly? The odds of a summer cutie becoming a year-round BF are slim. But there's no harm in figuring out if it's feasible to move things to the next level:

He's been there all along. Is it a fluke you two never bumped into each other before? Like, you're both members of the same youth group or even go to the same school? Sometimes, great guys hover just past your radar screen, and it takes a fin twist of fate (your parents sail together!) to bring him to your attention.

He's accessible. Did you meet someplace you'll both continue frequenting, such as your family's vacation home or a co-ed travel team? Do you have mutual friends? Summer is a great time to meet guys from other schools or nearby towns. If you two surf similar social circles, there could be hope.

He's dropped hints. If he's mentioning how great it would be to see the Winter Festival of Lights together, your crush could spill into all seasons--particularly if you have tons in common (beyond a shared passion for boardwalk fries).

But summer love is a magical experience, so consider appreciating it for what it is before even attempting to take it down the road to a relationship. Because while your head's in the clouds over Mr. Sunshine, you might be oblivious to that chemistry class cutie....