"What I wish someone had told me about high school": ever wish you had a cool older sister who would tell you everything you needed to know to make high school the best time you've ever had? We got 17 seniors to spill on what even your big sister doesn't know

Girls' Life, August-Sept, 2004 by Allison Davis

The summer before my freshman year, I had dozens of expectations of what high school would be like. I would be a straight-A student and reigning member of the popular clique. I would have a hot boyfriend with a great car, get elected class president, land the lead in all the school plays and be a star varsity lacrosse player. Never mind the fact that all my grand ideas of high school life were based on teen flicks and WB dramas. I was absolutely convinced this was how high school would really be.

It only took the first week (and three near nervous breakdowns) to figure out I was dead wrong all along. The reality was that I had no clue how to deal with changing friendships, massive amounts of homework, finding my niche at school and, yes, even getting down with the whole dating-and-guys thing. Now that I've finally graduated, I can't rewrite the last four years of my life. But what I can do is give other girls the advice I wish someone had doled out to me and my friends. No doubt, making your own mistakes and learning from them is a key part of surviving the high-school scene. But here are 18 lessons my friends and I learned the hard way ... so you don't have to!

#1 The popular group isn't always the best group.

When I was a freshman, I asked my friend Joanna how I could fit in with the popular crowd. Her advice was to stop using so many big words, stop thinking so much and to wear more makeup. Needless to say, I never quite fit in among the small-word, no-thinking makeup masters. Instead, I found a group of five girls who are now as close to me as family.

Having a crew of friends who accept you for who you are is what makes high school memorable. Maybe your best friends are in the popular group; maybe not. Either way, having really close friends who will be there for you through thick or thin is more important than anything. As my friend Sam says, "Knowing you have people you can call in the middle of the night is the greatest feeling in the world."

#2 Trust your gut.

My friend Lindsay recalls, "I made a decision not to drink during high school. There were times when I thought to myself, 'Screw it--everyone else is doing it, so why shouldn't I?' I never acted on it though. I don't need to drink to have fun or to base friendships around. If it's not in your nature to cave to peer pressure, don't."

If you feel like something is wrong, then it probably is. Even if your friends are telling you it's the right thing to do, that doesn't always make it right. There have been situations in which I was torn on what to do, and I made decisions based on what others were doing--even though it went against what I felt. Wrong call. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone uses bad judgment at times. But listen to your gut to avoid making mistakes you'll later regret.

#3 Upper-classmen are not as scary as you think.

The first few days of high school, seniors might try to make you feel their "power." Don't panic--it's a high-school tradition for the upperclass to intimidate freshmen! Getting to know upperclassmen through sports teams or other extracurriculars can be really helpful when you're trying to figure out details like which English teachers to avoid or how to cut detentions. That same senior you feared could ultimately turn out to be a really good friend and mentor.

My friend Shannon got in with upperclassmen on her volleyball team: "I became really close with my older teammates. If you are a dedicated, excited team player, upper classmen respect you. It's a great way to make cool older friends who can help you out."

#4 Do your homework.

First semester of your freshman year is kind of like a warmup for the rest of high school. As you progress, you'll be given a lot more work and expectations will be higher. So adopt good study habits now, because procrastination will catch up to you ... and quick.

"I am the world's biggest slacker, no joke," my friend Katie confesses. "I put everything off until the last minute, even if it's been assigned five months in advance." Don't procrastinate! Break big assignments into small chunks you can tackle each night. And beware of time-wasters. I was big on checking celeb's AOL profiles or whatever when none of my friends were online--so stupid. Work hard on your own and, not only will everything be less stressful, you'll be rewarded with great grades and the ability to survive college!

#5 Let people change.

"Do you really want to be the same person you were in middle school?" asks my girl Lauryn. It's good to learn early on that nothing is permanent. As you and your friends have new experiences, take on fresh activities and get acquainted with different people, you're all going to change to some degree. Change can be positive for everyone in the long run--even if it is scary at times. Being a good friend means supporting your pals' hopes and interests. Even if those hopes and interests don't always include you.

#6 Boys aren't everyting.

Yes, boys are cute ... really cute. But never let the quest for a boyfriend take over your life. If you have a cool BF, great, but you can be just as happy without a guy. As my bud Beccy remembers, "I didn't need a boyfriend to make my high-school experience complete. Whenever I had free time, I wanted to be with my girls. Having a boyfriend probably wouldn't have let me experience high school to the fullest because I wouldn't have been able to do everything I wanted to, when I wanted to. Not to say I don't ever want a boyfriend or that there weren't times when I did want a boyfriend, but it hasn't been essential to my happiness for the past four years." Boys are only a big deal if you convince yourself that they're a big deal.