No laughing matter: so funny you forgot to laugh? What to do when a BFF has a not-so-nice habit of humiliating you for giggles - GL Friends - Brief Article

Girls' Life, August-Sept, 2002

What's worse than a friend who always has to be in the spotlight? A friend who puts you down to get there! You felt like dirt the day she gave the soccer team a play-by-play on the time Fido dragged your undies into the dining room during dinner. Sure, everybody got a good laugh--at your expense. Maybe your bud doesn't get that some things are better left undercover--like your underwear.

A FACT OF LIFE Stupid, embarrassing stuff happens to everyone. But some stupid, embarrassing stuff is private. When that stuff is repeated for public consumption, feelings can get hurt. It's OK for a friend to laugh when you blow milk out your nose during your Saturday-night sleepover. But telling your crush all about it on Monday morning is a big no-no. Friends should let friends relay their own funny anecdotes. That way, they're laughing with you, not at you. Know the difference.

TELL THE STAND-UP TO SIT DOWN If your bud's comedic routine is getting under your skin, say something. She probably doesn't even realize her offhand remarks are offensive to you. Tell her you appreciate her sense of humor but to alter her schtick a little to exclude you as the fall guy. Hopefully, she'll get it.

IN THE LINE OF FIRE What to do if your friend is a creature of habit and launches into a "listen to this one"? Don't tell her to stick a cork in it, and don't storm off. Also, don't try topping her whopper. You don't want to get into a full-scale, all-out who-can-humiliate-whom-more war. Try a little subtlety. Give her a "look." If that fails, discreetly say, "Please, don't go there." Feeling brave? Cut her off at the gate, and tell the story yourself. Any girl who can laugh at herself has got to be cool.

IF ALL ELSE FAILS You've told her to chill, but Miss Funny Gal continues to humiliate you? Pull her aside and ask her to agree to a secret code word ("anyway") or signal (a scratch of the nose) that says, "Bud, you're stepping on my toes." If she keeps at it, it could be time to reevaluate the friendship. No joke!