Get over it already! It's a done deal. So why are you still dwelling on that dude? - GL Guys - Brief Article

Girls' Life, August-Sept, 2002 by Sandy Fertman Ryan

Things seem great with your BF until, out of the blue, he gives you the old heave-ho. The dreaded "adios, au revoir, buh-bye and thanks for playing" speech. You are, to put it mildly, totally devastated. After all, he was the boy of your dreams! But, believe it or not, there will come a time when you will be ready to get up offa that thang and be happy again. Impossible, you say? Inevitable, we say!

NO PAIN, NO GAIN... OK, being dumped hurts worse than getting a root canal on a Saturday morning. But there is a right and wrong way to get through this nightmare you call your life. First, as much as you don't want to, feel the pain. You can't just slap on a happy face and say, "Whatever!" You need to grieve. No, your ex isn't dead. But you've lost something, and that's downright sad. So go ahead and redecorate your bedroom with a carpet of soggy Kleenex. Rant, rave, beat up your pillow, take up kick-boxing--even try dissing your ex to your friends, mom, sis or your journal for a couple days. When your nose is redder than a cherry sno-cone and your eyes are as puffy as marshmallows, you're ready to get on with your life.

OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND... Sure, when sweet memories of the ex-man fill your thoughts, you feel completely empty inside. What to do? Just say to your-. self, "Not going there!" and immediately distract yourself by doing something, anything else, like painting your nails or walking your dog (and not past his house, please).

It's weird, but why do we only seem to reminisce about the good times when we've just been dumped? Instead, focus on the bad things (yes, there were bad things!) about your relationship. Was his idea of affection saying, "I got something special for ya...," and then farting? Good riddance.

If you find yourself reaching for the phone or (yikes!) aching to spy on your ex from the bushes in his front yard, call your BFF right away. You can count on her to stop you from going into stalker mode. Even a friendly e-mail to the ex is pointless after a breakup. The more distance with the ex, the better. It'll help you heal that much faster.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET GOING... By now, your friends have probably spent quality time reminding you how beautiful and amazing you are and how he didn't deserve you. So, prove them right!

* Give your time to a volunteer organization, even if it's lust an hour a week. When you help others, like visiting people in nursing homes or walking dogs at the pound, you help yourself, too.

* Plan a picnic with your friends to get your mind on something positive and fun.

* Instead of wishing you felt like your old self, why not feel like a new-and-improved you? Go to the mall with your BFF for a free MAC makeover, Guaranteed to make you feel extra purty!

* Rent some funny vids and have your friends over for a night of laughs--even if you don't feel like it. Hey, even doctors say laughing cures almost anything. Note: Avoid romantic comedies like the plague!

* Help your grandma with her gardening, or take your little bro for ice cream. Put your problems aside to spend time with somebody who loves you.

CONGRATS! You've reached the final stage of healing, technically known as the "let's go check out other guys" stage. Yep, it's time to snag some much-needed ego-boosting attention! So get with the girls, dress up, go out, smile at some cuties and, this time, go for someone who really does deserve someone as great as you!