Karen's page - Short Story

Girls' Life, Feb-March, 2003

Hi, I'm Rob Cordell." As far as opening lines go, it wasn't horribly original but, at the time, I really didn't care. I had left the hubbub of my friend Carrie's spring party to venture into the kitchen in search of some ice. As I shut the freezer door, standing before me was one of the hottest guys I'd ever seen.

Rob was Carrie's date's brother, on vacation from boarding school. He was joining our group for the evening because Carrie thought he'd make a great spare dance partner. Over the course of the night, Rob and I had a great time. He was not only gorgeous but smart (early decision to Princeton!), cool, funny and one of the best tennis players in the state. So good, matter of fact, Rob was spending his summer on the pro tour. Bummer for my summer romance prospects but good for him.

Flash forward a year. Rob does great on the tour and even better at Princeton. I become BFFs with his stepsister Sam (pure coincidence, I swear), and my other BFF Ally lands a summer gig at Rob's dad's company (pure coincidence, I swear) where, drum roll please, Rob is working for the summer as well.

Suddenly, the dream guy I figured I'd probably never see again was squarely within my sights. Yet, as the summer drew closer, I also became oddly nervous about the prospect of seeing Rob again. All I could think about was how gorgeous, smart and talented he was. Even though I kept telling Ally and Sam I wanted to talk to Rob, I actually found myself going out of my way not to bump into him.

Despite my efforts to lay low, I run straight into Rob while waiting for Ally one day. "Hey, how are you?" Rob asks, all friendly smile and killer tennis tan. OK, act casual. "I'm great, how've you been?" I meet his eyes for the first time in a year. I swear I never blush over anything, ever, but I can literally feel the blood rushing to my face and my palms sweating. I am fairly sure I resemble a stop sign.

"Great!" he says. As I'm trying to will my face back to a normal color, I know Rob is waiting for me to ask about Princeton or tennis or, heck, anything. But all I can manage is, "OK!" And, with that incredibly interesting comeback, I dash off to meet Ally, mentally kicking myself the whole way.

In spite of my weirdo performance that afternoon, Rob asked Ally if I wanted to have dinner with him that week. I did. We went. And it was great. That dinner led to several more and, by the time Fourth of July rolled around, Rob and I were officially hanging out. Ally and Sam were thrilled for me. A year ago Rob was my dream guy and now, holy smokes, here he was, pretty much my summer BF.

And yet, even though Rob was awesome, I never really felt at ease with him. As cool and calm and together as I tried to be, I was never, well, quite myself around him. When I was with him, it was like I was stuck in my blush-mode. No matter how hard I tried not to, I just felt like such a complete dork.

Insecurity? Maybe. Truth is, I'd never dated someone as all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips as Rob. Don't get me wrong. Normally, I think pretty highly of myself. Maybe it was the looks, maybe it was the Princeton thing. I dunno. But, somehow, I just never felt comfortable enough around Rob to be me.

By the end of the summer, we both knew the relationship wasn't working. As he planned to leave for the fall, we decided to just be friends. The lesson I learned that summer? While nothing beats the initial heart-pounding moment that makes you a little giddy when you first meet a guy, it's ultimately better to be with someone who makes you feel like, well, your normal all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips self.

Sure, the start of every relationship has its awkward moments. But, as time goes on, you want to at least be able to recite complete sentences. Preferably many sentences.

Just the other day, I called Sam's house. Rob happened to be there and picked up the phone.

"Hey, how are you?" he said.

"I'm great," I answered, feeling the redness rise, then fall, out of my face. "How's Princeton this year?"

"Great!"

Perhaps there is hope for me yet with the Robs of the world....