Sweet on geeks - Guys

Girls' Life, Feb-March, 2003

There's this new boy in my class, and he's kind of a dork. But I think he's really cute, and I have a huge crush on him, I don't plan on telling anybody because I might get teased. I don't even want to have a crush on him. I'm always crushing on the nerds. How can I deal with my feelings without telling anyone?

BILL: Repeat after me: "It doesn't matter what other people think!" OK, got it? Now, go with your feelings. If you can have fun with the "dorky" guy instead of worrying about how you look to others, you've found the secret to happiness!

DAVE: Gee, Bill, you just stole my rational answer. While it's OK to confide in friends you can trust, it's never wise to go along with the general consensus. If it's dorks you like, go for 'em.

I have a boyfriend, but my problem is my guy friend. He has something against my BF. He gets way overprotective and acts like he's trying to prove that he likes me more than my BF does! It drives me crazy!

BILL: Are you making less room for your guy friend since you've had a BF? If the friendship is important to you, do your best to make time for him even though your focus is your boyfriend.

DAVE: My guess is that this is a whole other issue. Sounds like your guy friend wants to be more than just friends. Whether or not you want to investigate this possibility is entirely up to you.

I like this guy, and he says he likes me. But one day when I was sitting in front of him, he was flirting with two other girls. It really hurt my feelings. Should I be mad?

BILL: Let's go to the Chart of Guy Types. Type 124: The Flirt--needs so much attention that he's going to flirt no matter what. Type 208: The Show-Off--actually flirts with other girls because he likes you and thinks being popular with other girls will make him more popular with you. Type 217: The Insensitive Buffoon--doesn't care at all about your feelings and is best kept at a distance. Which type do you think he is?

DAVE: Great typecasting, Bill. Regardless of what a guy is doing--based, of course, on what type of guy he is--I don't think a girl has a right to be steamed if he isn't actually her BF. I mean, I get a little miffed at Jennifer Love Hewitt for the way she carries on with other guys, but I think I might be a little out of bounds since I've never actually met her.

My BFF's boyfriend creeps me out. Whenever the three of us hang out together, he stares at my chest. And once, when my best friend left the room, he asked me, "Can I just sit and look at you forever?" It was really weird, so I didn't tell my best friend. But eventually I'm afraid he might try to kiss me or something. I don't want to hurt my friend. What should I do?

BILL You're totally right to be creeped out. But I'm not sure keeping silent about it is the best thing. After all, wouldn't you want to know if your BF were acting this way? I recommend a three-step approach: 1) Tell him, firmly, to keep his opinions and glares to himself making it very clear to him that his behavior is inappropriate. 2) If he persists, tell your BFF what's been going on. 3) If he still persists, tell a parent or teacher. Being treated disrespectfully should never be tolerated, no matter who the guy is.

DAVE It doesn't matter that it's your BFF's BF. He's a CG (Creepy Guy), and you should take Bill's advice not to put up with his crude stares and comments. Your BFF might not like what she hears but, in the end, she should appreciate hearing the truth about her misplaced affection. If she's a true friend, she'll respect you for being honest with her--that final F in BFF ain't for nuthin'.

Got a question? Send it to Bill and Dave c/o Girls Life, 4517 Harford Road Baltimore. MD 21214, or e-mail it to Bill Dave@girlslife.com