Is she guilty of being a bad bud? New school year. New friendship potential! But face it—not every girl you meet is real—pal material. If you want to avoid bummer buds, it pays to be choosy when making new friends. Here's a little direction on how to line up your best friendships ever!

Girls' Life, Oct-Nov, 2004 by Sandy Fertman Ryan

School is back in session, and so is your social scene. You're psyched to be back with old buds, and you've already made some fresh new friendship connections. The new girls you've met seem so cool.

But then again, so did that rat who royally burned you at softball camp over the summer. You thought you'd found yourself a friend for life, but she wound up blabbing your secret (she's the only one you told!).

So how do you determine a fine, genuine friend from one who might turn out to be a letdown? It'd be a real crime if we didn't clue ya in on how to weed out the bad seeds--before they become buds turned bad.

HONESTY IS THE BEST-FRIEND POLICY

EXPECT a friend to be someone who is totally truthful with you. Not just about that piece of spinach stuck between your teeth or the fact that your bra strap is showing, but about who she is and what she's about. What you see should be what you get.

REJECT someone who shows signs of dishonesty. You've heard her fib to other friends, saying things like, "Yeah, I've been to Europe--twice," when she hasn't even made it to Paris, Texas. And she had no problem telling her 'rents she was at a friend's house when she was really raging at an off-limits party. Even her English lit teacher still believes her cat had emergency brain surgery since she used that as an excuse to get an extension on her Shakespeare report. Take note: If she lies so easily to everyone else, you are probably next in line.

WHO'S THE BOSS?

EXPECT a bud to contribute to the friendship equally--by suggesting stuff to do, music to listen to, hair colors to avoid. Having different interests, opinions and experiences to share multiplies the fun by two, right?

REJECT a control freak. Sure, serving up her opinion is one thing, but if she is always telling you what to do, what bands to like, and why you should get dark caramel streaks instead of the sunny highlights you want--is she a friend or a dictator? A friend should rock your world, not rule it!

CONSTANTLY COMPLAININ' JANE

EXPECT a friend to be upbeat and positive--at least, most of the time. A friend should lift you up when you are feelin' down and keep the peace when life is purrin' like a kitten. She's not only good company, but sometimes she's your personal cheerleading squad!

REJECT a "why?"-ner! Her rallying cry? "Why, oh, why?!" Not only is she a total pessimist in her own existence, but she's not very supportive of any of your endeavors either ("Don't audition for Dorothy--you'll never make the cut"). The bottom line? Don't let somebody else's bummer ways drag you down.

OVERTIME EQUALS OVERKILL

EXPECT a girl to be willing to spend the time it takes to get to know you--and you should do the same. But also give each other some space. Nobody can (or should) be together 24/7, so make the most of your time apart and have fun catching up when it's convenient for both of you. That's called balance.

REJECT a stalker! It's nice when a friend wants to spend tons of time with you. But draw the line if she's a round-the-clock Cling-On who freaks out when you go out with other pals or calls your cellie a trillion times a day. That ain't love, sistah--that's just scary.

PEER PRESSURE POINTS

EXPECT a friend you trust enough to follow anywhere. Why? Because you know she would never put you in harm's way and will always lead you toward great things--or at least fun and interesting things! Hey, who else would teach you to skateboard, drag you to Metallica's Some Kind of Monster documentary, talk you into taking hip-hop aerobics and, um, force you to try fried calamari? One clue: not your mom.

REJECT a girl who is Most Likely To Be A Juvenile Delinquent. She makes up her own rules as she goes along--stealing lip gloss, cheating on tests and constantly cutting classes. Sure, there's never a dull moment when she's around, but you're pretty much guaranteed to be grounded for life at some point along the road to adrenaline rush. Worth it? Not!

A ONE-UP-MANSHIP FRIENDSHIP?

EXPECT a friend who attempts to excel at whatever she's doings--whether it's school, a hobby or even babysitting! A friend who always gives it her all will always try her best with friendships, too.

REJECT someone who always has to be better than you. You have the coolest new boots? She'll buy two pairs. You've got a cute new boyfriend? Gee, she's going out with the captain of the football team! Steer clear of a girl who needs to outshine others to feel good about herself.

YA CHOOSE TO LOSE

EXPECT a friend to be able to come to you when she needs help. Everyone needs support now and then. Be first with advice on how to get her crush to notice her, and cheer her on at her dance recital.

REJECT a user (rhymes with loser!). A girl who constantly hits you up for help--to borrow clothes, copy your homework or establish an alibi for not getting home before curfew--is taking advantage of you. This girl squeezes what she can out of the friendship and rarely gives back. Not fair. So there.