Wasted lives: the truth about teen girls and drinking: girls are proving they're equal to boys in oh-so-many ways. But does that have to include how much they drink? Sadly, girls are now drinking as much—or more—than boys. While "partying" can mean just hangin' with your crew, it often means drinking. Here are some sobering stats—and stories—about teens and alcohol

Girls' Life, Oct-Nov, 2004 by Sandy Fertman Ryan

Julie is determined to remain sober after 31 days at the Caron Foundation. "I think rehab didn't work for me in the past because, afterward, I isolated myself. What I should have done was go to AA meetings for young people. There are tons of teens trying to get sober, so you can build a great support group to stay on track. But you can't hang around your old friends at all, because you'll fall back into old behaviors."

Why is Julie so certain she can do it this time? "I know I will die if I don't. I've taken so many risks--being hospitalized, sleeping around, blacking out who-knows-where, using drugs--so I know it will catch up with me. I can't do that anymore. It's just not an option."

Rochelle came to a similar conclusion: "If I continued drinking, I'd end up killing myself. I have to remain sober." She agrees AA is the way to go. "You don't have to tell your parents about the meetings. But you know what? If they're supportive, they'll support you in getting the help you need. I didn't realize that before, but my parents and I are closer than ever.

"Girls have a total misconception about drinking. They think it looks like fun, and everyone in the movies looks happy when they're drinking. But when you see drinkers a few years down the road, it's repulsive--they can't even stand up straight! Alcohol does relieve stress momentarily. But it doesn't solve the problems underneath--it masks them. Eventually, you're going to have to face up to those problems and deal with them."

But how do Rochelle and Julie feel about losing the great social lives they had when they were partying? "Actually, I had a social group that was entirely made up of alcoholics and drug addicts. Who wants that?" says Julie.

"You know, not one of my 'cool' social group has called me since I've been home from rehab. That's so amazing to me. I guess they weren't my 'friends' after all," says Rochelle.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Sure, your teen years are for having fun and partying with friends--once you've finished the homework and chores, of course. But who says "partying" is drinking? It's really about spending time with friends, laughing, swapping stories and being your totally crazy, beautiful self. Alcohol not included.

HOW TO SAY 'NO' WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A DORK

The surest way to avoid drinking is to stay away from situations where you know people will be partying. But, sometimes, despite your best intentions, alcohol shows up where you least expect it. Here's how to deal....

If someone pressures you to drink, keep repeating, "No, thanks" over and over. Usually, they'll get so bored, they'll stop asking.

If they do keep pounding away, cut off the conversation by saying something like, "Hey, look who's here!" while pointing across the room, and then just walk away.

Often, people will put on the heat by trying to get you to answer questions just to get you to cave in, like, "What are you afraid of?" or "What's the matter--Mommy won't let you drink?" Just laugh and ignore them. If you defend yourself--which you don't need to do when you believe what you're doing is right--you'll get nowhere! Hey, they've been drinking!