Sis bliss: we think that for the holidays you should look at your sister in a whole new light - GL friends

Girls' Life, Dec, 2003 by Kelly White

Oh, sure, your sister plucks every last nerve. Especially when she borrows clothes without asking or, worse, snitches you out. But with some attitude adjustment, you might realize you have a built-in best friend.

THE AGE DIFF You've probably never considered your sister as BFF material because, well, you guys aren't the same age (unless, of course, you're twins). If you're older, you don't want your baby sister tagging along. And if you're younger, um, big sis doesn't want you tagging along. But over time, the less the age thing matters (trust us). Learn now to look past it, and you and the sis could actually get along ... and build a solid foundation for a lifelong friendship.

YOU'RE OLDER, SHE'S YOUNGER Alexa Falk, 14, is a pro at getting along with her sister Natalee, 12. "Friends come and go, and if you get in a fight, it could be over," says Alexa. "But with Natalee, I'm stuck with her so it's like 'get over it.'" To end pointless bickering, cut your sister a break. Give her control of the remote sometimes. Let her call "shotgun" and take the front seat in the car. Why? Because you're older ... and more mature. Before long, your sister will follow your good example, and you'll both be masters at the art of sisterly give-and-take.

YOU'RE YOUNGER, SHE'S OLDER So how do you earn your big sister's respect? Simple. Give her the space she needs. But when you want to go in for bonding time, ask her advice about something--boys, parents, that teacher she had two years ago. It's a win-win. She'll be flattered ... and you'll get the inside info from someone who's been there. "Alexa's always the one who convinces my parents to let us have sleepovers on school nights and stuff," says Natalee. "Whenever I need to talk to my parents, I have her go with me."

SISTER, SISTER See? Now you have someone to hang with at all times, and it could even broaden the friendship circle. "Her friends and my friends all hang out now," says Natalee. Oh, and no matter what your age, don't borrow clothes without asking. And never snitch!

BFF GIVEAWAY

Friends by chance, not by choice

Being sisters is about more than whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, and that's reflected in You're the Best Sister Ever ($9.95, Andrews McMeel). Author and illustrator Maria Smedstad reminds us that a sister always gives her honest opinion, will never go away because she's family, and actually knows what you want for Christmas ("A super deluxe turbo facial steamer! With detox peel jets!"). If your sis is "a pain, but a very rare and special pain," send your name and address to Best Sister Ever, GL, 4517 Harford Road, Baltimore, MD 21214 before Jan. 15, 2004, for a chance to win one of 20!

Kiss, kiss

Give your BFF a gift with a reverb effect. Alexa and Natalee, the sisters featured left, recorded Kiss Across the Ocean, which packs 13 original songs. And they're donating part of the proceeds to families of loved ones serving overseas. The title track is meant to soothe relatives who've been separated due to world affairs. "We think music can change the world," says Alexa. The full-length CD is $14.98 at alexaandnatalee.com.

BFF DILEMMA OF THE MONTH

'I can never afford to match the expensive stuff my BFF gives as gifts, and I wind up feeling totally lame!'

'My BFF never acts ungrateful, but I still feel like my gifts must stink compared to the pricey stuff she gives me.'

If your friend is truly your BFF, she isn't putting a price tag on your gifts. You've probably heard this 1,000 times, but it's true: It's the thought that counts. Buy or make something that has a special significance for the two of you. She'll LOVE it!

--Betsy

The littlest presents can mean a lot to people! My friends don't give me the most expensive presents, but I don't care. I like them because of how nice that friend was just to give me a present!

--Torrie

Price is one of those things you shouldn't think about, but everyone always does. If your BFF doesn't act disappointed, what's there to worry about? Nobody ever said BFFs have to give expensive gifts!

--Melissa

Just relax, and remember that friendship is not based on presents. It's based on having a truly good friend--someone who will be there no matter what kind of presents she receives. It's better to give her a pretty good gift than not one at all.

--Dawnna

If she's a true friend, she won't think your gifts are lame. Get her something special, even if it doesn't cost much, like a favorite photo of you two in a picture frame or a stuffed animal to remind her of you.

--Sara