Your best year ever! Whatever your New Year's resolution—more friends, a spot on the team, better grades—we have the secrets to making your dreams come true

Girls' Life, Dec, 2003 by Catherine Dee

Most girls' mental image of success is probably J.Lo on Its Good to Be ... or Sarah Hughes scoring gold on ice or Condaliza Rice informing the country about international affairs.

But what about unfamous things and less-obvious successes? Like doing well in school. Landing a part in a play. Third place in the softball tourney. Going cold-turkey on the nail-biting. Sure, these things go untelevised, but they're no less successful.

But no matter what your definition of success is, there are seven basic things you need to do to nab it. Follow this step-by-step plan to get the success you want--now, next week and the whole rest of your life.

#1 Think positive. Ask anybody successful the secret of her success and you're almost guaranteed to get an answer like "I knew I could do it." It should come as no surprise that an optimistic, can-do outlook is associated with achievement.

Do you believe in yourself and your ability to make it happen? Because that's the first step. Believing leads to doing, and doing gets results. So keep an open mind, bounce back from bummers, learn from tough situations, and always look on the sunny side.

MAKIN' IT HAPPEN: Just say 'no' to negativity You've heard it before: "You'll never be able to do that." Aargh! Why do people have to rain on your parade? Some of them probably genuinely believe they're doing you a favor by being "realistic." They might be trying to "protect" you from the disappointment they think you'll feel if you don't achieve your goal. Others could feel insecure about your ambitious ways--maybe they're jealous or afraid they'll somehow lose if you win.

So don't take negative comments to heart. If anything, run the feedback by someone who's optimistically levelheaded. It's fine to take another look at your goal and make adjustments. But just remember that many a girl has succeeded after being told she never would. Look out, world! Here you come.

#2 Find your true love. Nope, not talking about boys. We're talking about having a true passion for your plan of action. Success is pretty much dependent on loving whatever you plan to do. If you're just into something for the status or because someone else thinks you should be, success is not likely to come around.

But when you're truly into something, you put tons of energy toward it without it feeling like a huge effort. In other words, doing what you love never feels like a big drag. Yes, finding this could require some soul-searching, but if you put your mind to it, you're bound to come up with something you truly dig.

MAKIN' IT HAPPEN: What's your passion? Turn on your inner TV screen, and tune in to the Daydream Channel. Imagine you're 90. Look back on your life. What have you accomplished? What are you most proud of? Many girls have vivid images early in life of who they want to become. Pink, for example, knew she wanted to sing "ever since I was 3 feet tall." Sixteen-year-old published author Amelia Atwater-Rhodes remembers making up a story about her stuffed animal when she was just 3.

Don't worry if the images of your future aren't coming in clearly. The screen might stay a little staticy until you take up a new hobby, enroll in a cool class or get great at some sport. The trick is to think about your future frequently. #3 Have confidence! Self-confidence and success go together like cookies and milk. When you lack confidence, you don't grasp just how capable you really are, so you don't aim very high or accomplish very much.

When it comes to self-confidence, we're not talking about being stuck-up or assuming you're always in the right. It's simply knowing, deep in your bones, that you're smart, capable and filled with mega amounts of potential. Believe it because it's true.

MAKIN' IT HAPPEN: Stereotypes stink!

It's no secret that girls are supportive, respectful, and sensitive. But these traits can be the opposite of those typically needed for competing with others--being aggressive, driven and bold. This creates a conflict for girls because it gives off a message that says they can't be both well-liked and successful.

We're certainly not suggesting you should claw your way to the top at any cost. But it's also important to feel that you can take on healthy competition while maintaining solid relationships.

According to Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, "Giving girls a chance at success means giving them full, equal access to the tools of the game: to the acts of competition and desire required to excel and to the knowledge that relationships can survive them." So don't feel a need to brush competitive feelings under the rug to preserve friendships. Let your competitive spirit all hang out!

#4 Get goal-oriented. Successful people set goals. They write down what they ultimately want to do and "chunk" them into small tasks to complete. Why are goals so key? Because people are easily distracted! Goals provide a critical focus that reminds you of where you want to go.

Decide what you want to accomplish--overcoming stage fright, learning guitar or winning a wrestling match--and when you want to accomplish it. Write each step you'll take leading up to the goal (with deadlines) by thinking backward from the achievement to where you are now. You've got goals!