In praise of pesky girls

Girls' Life, Dec, 2000 by Jennifur Brandt

Instead of a New Year's resolution, why not have a New Year's revolution?

Are you curious and creative? Spunky, yet sugary sweet? Mysterious but down-to-earth? Outspoken but never rude? Do you love taking inspiration from the past while looking forward to the future? Do you dig putting your uniqueness on display?

If you answered yes to these questions, then you are what I call a Pesky Meddling Girl. And that, I'm proud to say, is what I am too!

Pesky Meddling Girls are fun and glammy creatures. But I haven't always felt so fab. For the majority of my tweendom and teendom, I was constantly bummed and trying way too hard to be cool. I didn't realize the coolest girl on the planet was living right inside my heart--the real me. What I had to do to find her? Simple. Stop looking so hard.

I experimented with an unusual amount of terrible teen makeovers--punk rock, spooky goth, raver, even Abercrombie & Fitch preppie. I changed hair colors and friends more often than my socks. My outfits were so painfully planned out they could've put a Hollywood costume department to shame. These characters were fun to try on but, as a permanent persona, I always felt like a fake. My clothes were wearing me, instead of me wearing them. I wanted to learn how to embrace all my weirdnesses and become truly me.

When I was 16, I was desperately seeking a creative outlet, a place to explore my inner voice and share my passion for fashion. I wanted to share opinions with other girls about everything from films, books and music to cute boys, self-confidence and beauty tips, with stories about inspirational women sprinkled into the mix. I wanted to put myself out there as the poster princess of adolescence.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" is a question I heard often as a little girl. But what I realized on my path of self-discovery is that our generation rocks. Why? Our lives don't have to be about what we're going to become in the future. We girls are doing important stuff right now!

Ever since I was 13, I've dreamed of becoming editrix-in-chief of my very own magazine. Once I found the real me, I decided I would start my own fanzine. A fanzine is basically a homemade cut-and-paste mag duplicated on a Xerox machine. The rockin'est thing about creating your own 'zine is that anyone can do it!

My 'zine needed a killer title, so I used the method most rock stars do when naming their bands--I flipped through the dictionary. I came across two cute words with almost identical meanings--"pesky" and "meddling"--which mean nosy and annoyingly curious. Sounded purrfect! Pesky Meddling Girls are curiously nosy in their quest for creative inspiration and knowledge about all things they passionately love and adore. What could be a cooler name than that? It described me and my fanzine in a sparkly pink nutshell.

I passed out copies of the 'zine to all my furrends at school and, pretty soon, word of lipglossed mouth spread. Real celebs were ordering copies, and I was even asked to play a part in the classic teen flick Clueless!

It was amazing. I had put a piece of my real inner self out there, something honestly me. Something I worked hard to create with my own hands, mind and glue stick. And there were people who identified with it, knowing I had the guts to actually do something, instead of ever having to utter the unpesky words, "Someday, I'll...". I was really proud of myself, and that was a big step in my search for self-esteem.

Yet, I was still a little introverted and shy about showing all that is essentially "Jennifur." I mean how could people possibly think I'm so va-va-voom hen I've got PMS pimples, a chubby tummy and an undying desire to wear gaudy vintage dresses?

And then it hit me! I have so much potential. Why waste all this precious time thinking negative thoughts about myself? So, needing some beauty sleep, and thinking whilst counting sheep, I went to bed, and a magical mantra came to me in a dream (which is where my snazziest artsy notions usually pop up). My life is a movie starring me! It was a totally empowering revelation, and it changed me forever.

Whenever I recited the phrase, I felt a real sense of Pesky power. It reminds me every day that life is not a dress rehearsal. It's a purrfect mantra for all the Pesky Meddling Girls of the world to embroider in glitter ribbon on their mental pillow.

I've now come to realize that my protruding belly is cute, like Madonna's in her "Lucky Star" video. And who cares if I have a couple of zits? (Maybe if I stopped stressing out about them they'd go away.) And so what if I love to wear clashing clothes from distant decades? If this life is my blockbusting movie, then I have a lot more important jazz to worry about. After all, I am the director, writer, music coordinator, costumer and, most of all, STAR!

The secret to life isn't about sitting in the theater (even if it does have cup holders)--it's all about being up there on your silver screen! Take a sneak peek at your own movie production. Does your script need a rewrite? Does it have a really great plot but not too much drama? Does it make people laugh? Is the costuming purrfectly you? Is your leading man a sweetie-pie who treats you like the star you are? And once you've figured out your ideal story line, roll out that imaginary red carpet and remember that it is in your power to make sure every day has a happy ending.