Bad boy blues

Girls' Life, Dec, 2001

I really like this guy at my school but he gets into trouble all the time. He has some nice qualities, but I'm afraid hanging out with him could ruin my good rep. What should I do?

BILL: There's trouble, and then there's TROUBLE. Telling jokes in class is trouble. Stealing the principal's car and driving to Vegas is TROUBLE. Figure out what sort of trouble he really is before you get too involved. A good rep is pretty priceless.

DAVE: Don't second-guess your doubts. You probably have 'em for good reason. If you're worried about your rep, keep your distance until he cleans up his act. For better or worse, we are judged by the company we keep. More importantly, if he's always into trouble, there's a chance he could drag you down, too. Then you'll have even more than just your rep to worry about.

Why is it so hard to find a gift for a guy? I already gave my BF a baseball hat for his birthday. Any good, cheap holiday gift ideas?

DAVE: Good gifts reflect something about the giver and the receiver. In the movie High Fidelity, lovelorn Rob assembles mixed tapes for his girlfriends: "Making a tape is like writing a letter--there's a lot of erasing and rethinking and starting again." Of course, this is the 21st century, so we're talking custom CDs here--a great way to compile your guy's favorite tunes, and introduce him to your special songs. Depending on what songs you pick, you can send any message you want without having to say a word. Get really creative, and design an original CD cover and disc label. And here's the coolest part...after you break up, he'll be reduced to tears every time he hears Train's "Drops of Jupiter." You can't get value like that from a ball cap.

BILL: Get a guy something a lot of guys want but most don't have. Don't diss hats too quickly. Search vintage stores for an old-school baseball hat from his favorite team. Or get him a subscription to a magazine related to what he's into (like Surfer). Or how about a really cool DVD? Every guy needs to own a copy of The Matrix.

This really cute 13-year-old boy lives in my grandma's neighborhood. We always have a great time hanging out during the holidays, and I think he likes me. Any chance for us?

BILL: There are a few things to consider. First off--how far apart do you live (must be pretty far, since you only visit Grandma once a year)? Second, do you have access to transportation (can you bum rides with a parent). Exchange e-mail addresses, and see ho things go. If he's into seeing you again, and you still like him, maybe you can figure out a way to visit Grandma more often.

DAVE: Distance may make e heart grow fonder, but it also masks the reality of the situation. Could this faraway guy seem so great because you see him so infrequently? Plus, it's vacation! No school, no homework, just fun. E-mail and call to see if you still get along. At worst, you'll end up friends. I'm also willing to bet there are guys who are just as cute and fun in your town. Why not take a closer look closer to home?

My boyfriend dumped me in note. I wouldn't care so much if the whole note was in his handwriting. But it wasn't!

BILL: And most girls say they wish their guys would write them notes...but this is not cool. Breakups stink, especially when one person is so immature about it. This guy doesn't even have the guts to talk to you in person, much less write his own breakup note. Be relieved the dude is a part of your past.

DAVE: He's only as good as the way he treats you in the end. If he could do a lowlife thing like having a friend do his dirty work for him, how good of a BF do you think he would have been anyway? Later, loser.