Does size really matter?

Girls' Life, Dec, 2001 by Sarah Cordi

Your BFF struts her slim stuff and, meanwhile, you're certain your butt is the size of Montana? Or maybe you feel like a dork 'cause you're stuck in the girls' department, while your best bud fills out a killer juniors size 7. If you and the BFF have way different bods, it could trigger some sizable insecurities. Read on to feel tons better about yourself -- and your friendship should measure up in a big way, too.

You guys aren't clueless -- you two look different, always have. But before you brush off this size thing as trivial, think about it. Could it be the root of some unexplainable squabbles?

Polarized-sized BFFs often experience things from completely opposite perspectives, which can play out in weird ways. But the good news is, you can guard your friendship against a size-it-up mentality.

TRIGGER ONE: Shop 'til you drop

Sick of gluing yourself to the accessories rack, while your BFF grabs piles of cute stuff in a store that doesn't even sell socks in your size? Strolling the mall can be great, but unspoken discomforts about size can linger longer than fried rice from the food court.

Says Lisa, 13, "When my BFF and I go to the mall, she heads right for the kids' department while I go off to juniors. I don't mind the size difference, but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. But my friend doesn't care about it. That's what I love about her."

I AM BIGGER. Says Julia, 13, "I weigh at least 20 pounds more than my BFF does. When we go shopping, I have a terrible time finding anything that fits, let alone flatters. She 1ooks great in everything she tries on. I found a skirt at Old Navy I liked. She looked at it and said, 'Wow, that's BIG!' I m pretty sure she didn't realize what she'd said, but it really hurt my feelings."

SIZE-WISE: Shopping with your skinny BFF can be uncomfortable--if you let it. Just because your BFF "fits into everything," doesn't mean you can't enjoy shopping too. Just think of all the dynamite department store options in women's sizes. Try on clothes you like--threads that work with your body type.

Shopping isn't a contest of who fits into what or who tries on more clothes. Let your pal go nuts in Limited Too, and ask her opinion on those pleather pants you spotted in Express.

If your skinny bud throws you size-related remarks, tell her how much it hurts. She might not know. It's possible that she thinks you're perfectly fine the way you are (she thinks it's cool how well you fill out a sweater), so calling you "big" is no biggie to her. But if she keeps the comments coming even after you've told her how it makes you feel, consider recruiting a new shopping buddy.

I AM SMALLER. "My friend is overweight, and I'm basically a rail," says Allison, 14. "When I want to check out Gap Kids, she refuses to go in. But then she drags me to stores like Abercrombie, and I can't find a thing to fit me. It really makes shopping miserable!"

When Fern, 12, and her BFF go shopping, things can get weird: "Once, we wanted the same pair of jeans, and the salesperson goes, 'This size is great for you.' Then, she looked at my friend and said, 'But you need a bigger pair, my dear.' It made us both uncomfortable. Now, she avoids shopping with me!"

SIZE-WISE: If shopping is this stressful, address it. Surely, you love your friend just the way she is, so tell her! Maybe you're even a little envious of her curves and swerves. But if going into stores that carry smaller sizes truly makes her squirm, don't beg her to go in. Don't forget there are plenty of stores that stock stuff for girls of any size--Claire's, The Body Shop, Target.

And, please, don't rub your pint-size physique in her face ("Oh, these pants are falling off my waist."). Still, it's OK to secretly love that you score major deals off the kiddie clearance rack.

TRIGGER TWO: Closet Case

Lots of girls don't even need to hit the mall to feel dress stress--it can come out with the mere mention of clothes. A girl who's insecure about her bod (and subsequently envious of her friend's bod) might tease or make snide remarks about her friend's new mini.

I AM BIGGER . "I'm in eighth grade and I have six best friends. All of them are smaller than I am," says Lauren, 14. "None of them seem to notice, but I do. I am the only one who can't share clothes. I feel big and oafy."

Says Emily, 12, "The cool part about being bigger than my buds is that I don't ever have to lend my stuff out and worry about it getting messed up. But I do feel left out when I can't be part of clothes swaps."

SIZE-WISE: Instead of feeling left out, try feeling unique. There's nothing more attractive than an air of self-assurance. Love your height and hips. Develop your own look, and be confident.

Just because you all are friends, it doesn't mean you all have to look alike or dress alike--how dull! Next time the girls get together to share clothes, suggest swapping accessories too--belts, scarves, jewelry, the works.

Become a style expert. Be your very own creative clothing designer. That way tiny blouse your bud is tossing? Take it for the cool buttons. Yank 'em off and sew them around the collar of a plain white tee or turn them into a bracelet. Or, those Levi's that just don't fit her quite right? Grab them! Throwaway jeans make great denim bags. Now, you're stylin'.