My BFF bugs me!: BFF has a habit that plucks your every last nerve? Should you speak now or forever hold your peace? - GL Friends - best friend forever

Girls' Life, April, 2002

Maybe you can't put your finger on it, but something about your BFF bugs ya. Is it her oh-so annoying Phoebe from Friends routine? Is it the way she eats her turkey sandwich and recounts every detail of Spanish class--while globs of mayo seep from her mouth? Even if your peeve is petty, it can still be seriously irritating....

TAKE IT OR SHAKE IT?

If your bud has habits that just won't quit, should you bite your tongue or bite her head off? More than likely, she's clueless it bugs you. So before you have a freak-out over her nail biting, be sure your peeve doesn't have deeper roots. If you're constantly irritated by trite things, chances are there's a bigger prob. If she saw Incubus without you, don't take it out on her by nit-picking over peeves you never even noticed before. If there's a prob, deal with it, and leave the petty annoyances out--for now, at least. Once you settle your issue, you'll likely stop focusing on how she always cleans her ears out with her pinkie finger.

But, if it's really just a peeve and nothing more--and you can't ignore it any longer--speak up. If you let it smolder, it could erupt into a full BFF blowout.

The humorous approach. Say it smiling, and throw in a giggle: "Dude! Are you kidding me with that cow-chewing thing? Chew with your mouth closed before I send you out to pasture." Address the peeve lightheartedly, giving her an "out" by assuming she's joking.

The straight-up approach. As your BFF destroys the lyrics of your fave song, say, "I don't want to be picky, but could you sing to yourself? It drives me bonkers when people sing so loudly." You're being honest, while generalizing your comment by stating it irritates you when anyone does it, not just her.

Once you've cleared the air, be prepared. Believe it or not--it's possible your pal has a peeve with you. Let her lay it on you, but don't bite back. You don't want to kick off a cut-down session. And next time you guys are on the phone, don't crunch dry Cheerios in her ear--you know she hates that!

COPYRIGHT 2002 Monarch Avalon, Inc.
COPYRIGHT 2002 Gale Group

 

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