"I've got a secret!" - teens overcome personal and social barriers

Girls' Life, June, 2002 by Karen Bokram

Think you know what a scientist looks like? How about someone in the military? What about someone with a disability? Well, each of these girls has a secret that has changed her life...and inspired her to reach beyond stereotypes by which others might judge her. Before you flip this page, think carefully about who's who...and who you think YOU are.

Quick! Picture a cheerleader. Is she blonde with blue eyes and perfect, perky pom-poms (a la 4 Kirsten Dunst)? You're probably not alone if that's the first image that pops into your head. While none of us like to think we're speedy stereotypers, most of us tend to have mental images of what people with certain specific interests or issues are supposed to look like. We found six girls who've pushed through stereotype barriers to prove that they don't have to conform to people's preconceived notions of them. They've all had to get past some people's initial reactions to their situations and follow their hearts to happiness. In the process, they've discovered things about themselves they might never have thought possible.

As you read their personal stories, think about what stereotypes are holding YOU back. For instance, instead of thinking, "Oh, I could never play basketball because I'm not tall," come up with reasons you CAN do something. The minute you stop listening to your own self-doubt, you'll be able to open up a whole new world of possibilities for yourself.

"I'VE HAD 20 SURGERIES."

Katie Prevas, 17

I was born with epiphyseal dysplasia, a disease that causes your joints to overgrow and your bones to become immobile. Fortunately, the disease only affects my left side--hip, knee and ankle. I've had numerous surgeries, including three on my ankle, something called a triple fusion, three knee surgeries, a full heel cord stretch and two recent operations on my toes.

The summer after fifth grade, I was also diagnosed with scoliosis, which is a curvature of the spine, and had to have back surgery. The doctors placed a rod along my spine, which corrected my 42-degree curve, taking it down to a two-degree curve. I spent a full a week in the hospital and another six weeks in a back brace, but that was one of my most successful operations. You can't even notice any curve now!

At the moment, I need a full hip replacement. Yeah, that's the same surgery typically reserved for 80-year-old grandmas. My doctors and I hope it can wait until scientists develop a more advanced method of doing hip replacement surgery If I were to get the operation now, my recovery would take months, and my new hip would only be good for about 20 years. I'd need to get a new hip three or four more times during my life! So I'm pretty much holding off until my hip gives out entirely.

But it's not so bad. Sure, I can't wear really high heels because there's a certain point at which my heel just can't bend properly. My right leg is a little longer than my left, because the left one had been in a cast for so long. I used to wear an orthopedic insert in my shoe to even my legs out, but then I thought, "Well, who cares if I limp?" I can't sit cross-legged. Not that the way you sit makes you cool, but everybody does it. During school assemblies, everyone sits cross-legged on the floor, and I have to do a half-leg-bent/ half-straight-out kind of thing.

Though I walk with a limp, people are cool about not making a big deal out of my disability. Before I had my surgery to fix my spine, this girl called me "scolio girl." And I thought, "Who is she?"

A lot of boys, especially my brothers, say, "Let me help you. Let me do that," and I'm like, "No, I can do it." I hate it when people don't let me do things for myself. Usually it's something silly, and I'm perfectly capable on my own. Even though I can't do some stuff I'd like to do--like ice skate, play contact sports, run without a little extra hop in my step--I never think of myself as handicapped. I just kind of go with the flow. I never expect pity. Yeah, I've been through a lot, but that's life.

My condition has made me stronger and more independent. I could spend my whole life letting people do everything for me. I could have someone put on my shoes or carry my stuff, or I could get out of gym forever! But it's so much better being able to do things myself.

Sometimes, I have to remind myself that there are things I can't do--but still plenty I can do. I've figured out what my limits are and learned not to care about what other people expect my limits to be. I surprise a lot of people, even myself sometimes. The expectations people put on you really shouldn't matter--you need to set your own goals.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm unstoppable and definitely unbreakable. And once I put my mind to something, you'd better watch out!

"I LIVED ON MY OWN AT 15."

LeNaya Crandall, 17

For the last 10 years, I've been training to become a professional opera singer. I go to Baltimore School for the Arts, one of the top high schools in the country for vocal arts. But being an opera singer isn't my secret--many people are stunned to learn I lived on my own when I was 15.