15 ways to end friend fights foreever: Feelings are hurt, tempers are flaring…Now what? Put down your dukes and get familiar with these no-fail friend-fight fixer-uppers

Girls' Life, June, 2002 by Jodi Bryson

GIRL FIGHT! GIRL FIGHT!

Y only physical confrontation with a bud lasted roughly one minute. But I've spent hours thinking about it because that brawl was the dumbest thing I've ever been involved in. Some boy liked both me and my now ex-BFF Meanie Jeanole. That simple conflict stirred up every ounce of frustration and jealousy we'd ever silently barbored for each other. Instead of dealing with our feelings we let them smolder while we got hotter. When Meanie Jeannie reached her boiling point, she ran up behind me and wached her windbreaker--hard--on my bare haltered back the zipper thumping my head so sharply that I almost feel down and cired. But because I was already so spitting mad at her, I sprung at her like a crazed preteen Xena, determined to bash in her face.

When it was over, I got up off the ground, bruised with hite marks on both arms, My right eyeball felt life it'd been scooped out with a spon. Meanie Jeannie was even worse oil I had bloodied her nose and bruised her cheek. What can I say? I have a big brother--I came out swining. While there's nothing quite like a WWF SmackDown body-slam on a cherished chum, let's be clear that this article ins't about how to put your best bud in a stranglehold

This is a tried-and-true list of suggestions on how to mend the misunderstanding dis-agreements and differences of opinion that happened between even the best of buds. Arguments, hurt feelings, silent treatments and barsh words are exactly what at friend fights are made of--and that stinks! But the thing about a fight is, when it's over, your whole world feels happy and peaceful. Lots of times, the friendship is stronger because the fight clears up underlying emotional stuff that might have fueled the fight in first place. When your'e done reading this, you'll know how to get to that friendly feel good place before, like me and Meanie Jeannie, it gets to the fight stage.

SHE'S MAD AT YOU...

1 SAY YOU'RE SORRY: When a friend lets you know she's upset about something you've said or done (or she thought you said or did), it's up to you to clear the air. Even if it's a misunderstanding - wait, especially if it's a misunderstanding - you've gotta step up to the apology plate. Admitting you're wrong isn't easy, but if you do a hat dance around her now sensitive feelings, the drama will just grow. To deliver a sincere apology, look your friend in the eye and tell her. "I am so sorry." Now hug, cry, do what you do, then go eat something atery-clogging and talk about not-so-serious, stuff, like celebs and makeup: You've had enough serious discussion for one afternoon.

2 WRITE THE WRONG: Heart-to-heart talks stink like dog doo. That's not the popular opinion - especially if you tune in to the 7th Haven or any of those hokey movies on TV's Lifetime network for women -- but it's a realistic truth for plenty of people. Too many emotionally charged chats are just nerve - annihilating yuvky, muscfests of overly sensitive feelings. You have to tell her why you wish you could turn the Erch a Sketch of your wrongdoing event upside down. But since you can't send a letter to get it through her noggin how great she is, how much you cherrish her, how you are - from now until you're both grannies - going to be sensitive to whatever it is she's upset about. Put it on pretty stationery, and snail mail in with cutsie stickers and a pool stump. She should call the minute she reads it.

3 PICTURE FORGIVENESS: Sometimes a thousand words aren't worth jack. Or maybe you're not a word person, which means saying or writing an apology would be like hiking up Banana Reel Mountain in six inch stilcttols. Non-word people are usually either visual-artsy or have a thing for math. And since calculating a serious algebra equation isn't all that heart-warming (unless you're watching Good Will Hunting), this is for the art lovingal. Draw paint, sketch a picture that screamer. "You're awesome and I'm such a Party McBee for more seeing the hurtfulness of what I did" Mount the picture or a piece of poster board and at the top center expertly write her name in oversized block letters, Deliver it to her with a smile. If your masterpiece doesn't muster peace, it's back to the drawing board, Lady Picasso. Read on

4 BUY AN APOLOGY: For some girls, gifts are the way to go. It may sound totally materialistic but hey she's your friend and, some bud can be bribed as we all know! If it takes a little sweet nothing to get her to stop scrunching her face at you as you pass in the halls, then get to it. What won't work? Easy to-get-gifts like a "nice" candle or frame. Sorry What will work? A framed picture of the two of you in better times. Or a candle you made just for her at one of those fun craft-making stores. All other gift ideals are subject to details only you know about your friend. The more personal, the better: Wrap your package in homemade wrapping paper (sponge-paint some plain, white paper), and present it ti her in private With any luck she'll be unable to fight back those fears of joy