Is less really more? - Guys - advice for adolescent girls from a male perspective - advice for adolescent girls

Girls' Life, June-July, 2003

Bill

Dave

My boyfriend wants me to dress trashy. He wants me to look like a mini Britney Spears. I think I look fine. I've already tried a few new styles that he likes. If I show much more, I won't have anything else on. I like him but should I change my look just to please him?

DAVE: You are comfortable with your appearance the way it is, and that's what matters. Give your boyfriend a taste of his sartorial (look it up) treatment, and request he wear a hot pink T-shirt under his basketball jersey for the next big game. When he says you're crazy for trying to dictate what he wears, just give him a very knowing look. He should get your point.

BILL: Let's face it: We live in a land where girls are expected to don the latest clothes, shoes, even backpacks. But expecting you to wear less? You've got to decide where you draw the line. My advice? Use reverse charm. Tell him you like him too much to have other guys checking you out. You're sure that would make him unhappy. And since his happiness is the most important thing (wink, wink), you'll stay just the way you are, thankyouverymuch!

My BF always compliments me. I mean, about everything. it's really sweet, but I'm not so sure he's sincere.

DAVE: Are girls ever satisfied? What's a considerate BF to do? Should he ignore your new haircut or outfit so you can assume he doesn't like it? Or should he nicely mention it to let you know he's paying attention (even if it's not his favorite)? Perhaps your guy sees potential pitfalls in staying quiet, so he's playing it safe by laying on the compliments. However, since he says he likes everything, his flattery seems to have become meaningless. Give him the heads up that a few sincere compliments go much further than a bunch of hollow ones.

BILL: Wasn't it Oscar Wilde who wrote, "When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers"? Be honest--you've probably dreamed about a guy who would tell you all the time how great you are. Now you've got him, and you're wondering what the catch is. Enjoy it while you can. Pretend you think he's sincere (he could be!), and you might start believing him after all.

I just dumped my BF but totally regret it! How do I get over him and move on?

BILL: According to one theory; it takes one-third the duration of your relationship before you can honestly say you're over someone. Great if you only dated a few months, but a total bummer if you've been hanging out for two years. To get over him and move on? Stay busy, stay social, and stay open to new people.

DAVE: Breakups are never easy. In fact, they usually are downright painful. But the one thing that can make 'em even tougher is regret. When ending a relationship, be confident in your decision and don't look back. Never second-guess yourself into misery.

Why are guys so interested in girls' boobs? I mean, they are just breasts! It's not that big of a deal.

DAVE: Maybe to you they are just breasts but, for guys, they take on a mystical quality. I can't really explain it, which is pretty much the definition of mystical. It's one of those things you shouldn't be expected to understand, but it's a fact of life that's not likely to change.

BILL: Great question. Some guys can be so shallow. A truly well-rounded guy is interested in legs, face and hair, too. As usual, Dave and I try to do our part to bring the conduct of the male gender up a notch.

Got a question? Send it to Bill and Dave, c/o, Girls' Life, 4517 Harford Road, Baltimore, MD 21214 or e-mail it to Bill-Dave@girlslife.com.