Foster parenting with a prayer and a salary - New Voices - Neighbor to Neighbor program pays Illinois foster parents a salary to help keep siblings - Brief Article

Chicago Reporter, The, April, 2002 by Sarah Karp

Icy Garter is quick to point out her job is "one that takes a lot of prayer." Two years ago, when their only son left home, Garter and her husband, Ronald, decided to become part of a pilot program called Neighbor to Neighbor that pays Illinois foster parents a salary to help keep brothers and sisters in the same home.

More than a third of Illinois' foster children have siblings who are also in foster homes, according to the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services. But it can be difficult to convince foster parents to take in several children at a time. Before Neighbor to Neighbor began in 1994, all foster parents were required by law to be able to support themselves independent of state stipends.

But the Hull House Association, a Chicago-based nonprofit the state pays to help place foster children, had an idea: It might be easier to find good foster parents if they were paid as Hull House employees, receiving salaries, benefits and vacation in addition to their monthly stipends. The agency also wanted to find foster parents willing to care for all of a family's children. Hull House convinced the state to give it $3 million to pay for a pilot program. Neighbor to Neighbor currently includes 55 foster parents and 208 children.

Carter earns $16,000 a year. It's a pay cut from what she once earned as an administrative assistant, but she feels it's worth it. "It is not an easy job, but if you are committed and devoted, if it is something you want to do, then it is good."

Tell me about the children.

This is my second group of kids. The first group was three girls and one boy, and they actually have been returned home to their mom, and they are doing great. I still have communication with them. They are kind of like my kids because I had them for 18 months and I got to know them. I got to know their mom. Each child has his own individual personality, and each group comes with a lot of different issues. The group I have now is a little more needy than the first group. My first group was a little older. Their ages ranged from 4 to 12. This group ranges from 2 to 10.

What are some of the issues the children are dealing with?

Well, in the first group, the issue was, of course, being separated from their mom. The oldest girl was kind of shy. (At first] she didn't open up. To see her blossom into this 14-year-old, independent kind of person was something. The second one was 9 when she came, and now she is 11. She threw tantrums. So that was something to get adjusted to. I think the two smaller ones didn't have as many issues as the older ones. Basically, it wasn't too hard.

This group has been physically abused, so there are a lot of issues. We get the lying, stealing along with it, because this is something [they] are used to doing.

The 5-year-old has a speech impediment. I think-this is from my point of view-because the 10-year-old was getting so abused, [the 5-year-old] decided she wouldn't talk and wouldn't get in trouble. So we are working with the speech therapy, and she is talking a lot better. But they have come a long way-first, trying to understand that there are people who do care about them [and want] to help them. Once you build a trust bond between them, then you can move forward. They don't trust anyone.

How do you build trust with the children?

It is all about keeping your word. Don't promise something that you can't give. They have been let down quite a bit, and the good small things that you do promise, that you can give, get them. And they start to believe things that you say.

How do you keep a positive relationship with their biological parent?

One way is to tell them, "Your mom cares about you. Your mom loves you. She is just going through a time in her life when she needs help. She needs to he by herself to get that help. I am here taking care of you until your mom gets better."

We have weekly visits with the parents. By including parents in activities, [you are] letting them know that parents are involved.

How does your salary help?

The big part of it is to stay home, because these kids are in trouble with school a lot. If you had a job where you needed to be working and you weren't getting a salary from Neighbor to Neighbor, then you would have to be taking off work. My 10-year-old has a lot of problems with fighting, just trying to get attention, because he is kind of behind. He is 10 years old and in second grade. And I feel that, if it wasn't that I was at home, I probably would be fired from my job, because I have been up at school several times, and he has been suspended several times. It takes a lot of work. My husband does work. [But] one parent needs to stay at home and take care of all the business that needs to be taken care of.

What role does your husband play?

All three of [the children] have separate fathers. One father is deceased, and the other two, they don't know where their fathers are. I don't know what type of impact that is going to [have], with my husband playing a role in their lives now, but hopefully he can instill values and different things. When they leave here, we plan to keep in contact with them.