Your Kobe knock-off is only one cow away! Chefs seem to have a case of made Kobe disease lately

Art Culinaire, Fall, 2004 by Carol M. Newman

Our team of experienced and passionate professionals believe recent trends in beef are much too expensive and short-lived to warrant paying excessive prices.

That's why we've created Kobe-world. Now you can graze away--whatever your budget--because we give you more Kobe for your buck! We are committed to quickly identifying and producing quality knock-off Kobe for whatever lifestyle--Kobe-style! If you are into sashimi, steaks or just Kobe-to-go, you've come to the right place.

GET INSIDE KOBE-WORLD!

The Kobe you can't afford is from cattle raised in exotic locales like California and Australia. Those ranchers contract with beef producers in Kobe, Japan, to breed and raise their cattle (where land and grain is relatively expensive) to the exact specific guidelines of Kobe beef. When the cattle are close to slaughter time, they are shipped back to Kobe, Japan, where feeding is complete and the cattle are slaughtered. Hence, the beef can officially be labeled Kobe. At Kobe-world, we try to implement as many of these methods as possible at our top-secret ranch located right in New York City!

OUR LIQUID DIET PACKS ON THE POUNDS!

We call it 'feed and breed.' If you are a fan of real Kobe Wagyu beef, then you know all about what makes it such a prized commodity. Sure in Kobe, Japan, those special cows are fed a unique diet of beer (through the summer months) to get those appetites going and achieve that prime marbled look that's a whopping 20-25% fat! But here at Kobe-world, we've developed a method that's just as if not more--effective. Our cows are given something much stronger than beer--we serve them smoothies. That's right, smoothies. Loaded with protein, fiber and plenty of calcium, so our cows get that marbled look you know and love. Our cows go crazy over our chocolate soy milk smoothie!

OUR COWS KNOW HOW TO RELAX.

There's been a lot of talk about the massages the small family farmed Japanese cattle get. We believe that "yes" the massages positively affect the quality of the meat. We take those claims seriously. At Kobe-world, our cows receive the latest in spa services--everything from aromatherapy and marine algae body wraps to the more traditional Swedish and deep tissue treatments. Our therapeutic rib-eye massage uses medium to deep pressure to address tension problems our cows might have from digestion or swatting flies. We get deep in the muscle layers to remedy headaches, neck, shoulder or lower back pain. For those cows who might need a little more, our endurance massage helps to speed recovery from exertion, promoting maximum muscle performance. All designed to get that great tasting Kobe-style beef!

WE'VE DECODED THE MYSTERY GRADES!

Real Kobe Wagyu beef is graded on a smart 1-9 scale. Nine being the best, fattiest, marbled beef you can buy, (but will never be able to afford). In some places that kind of Kobe sells for upwards of 500 dollars a kilo. But we give you Kobe for a fraction of that price--try just five dollars a pound! We grade our beef with an M-OO rating. M is the choice rating from our top cattle that have followed our specific breeding guidelines. Expect that velvety, melt-in-your-mouth taste! But we have all ranges of cattle available when you walk into Kobe-world. Don't discount our OO cows. We think they're pretty special, too. Raised on strawberry smoothies--they're a whole lot leaner, but perfect for those who prefer a chewier texture!

A FEW FINAL WORDS ABOUT US.

Traditional cattle in Kobe, Japan, were introduced in the second century for the purpose of plowing rice fields and pulling carts they were not raised as a food source. The cattle were bred for endurance, the method deemed best for inducing marbling. At Kobe-world, we maintain tradition. Our cows pull another sort of cart--the vending push cart, toting all of New Yorkers favorite treats like some of the best-tasting hotdogs you can get--made with, what else, but Kobe-world beef!

SHHH. THE ORCHESTRA IS STARTING.

The Director of Guest Services for the Ritz-Carlton Tyson's Corner wears a gold plated-nametag bearing the same last name as the chef of Maestro--Trabocchi. It takes awhile for us to put two and two together, but when we finally do, we realize the amiable Maria is Fabio Trabocchi's wife. The two work here in this remote corner of Virginia just off the beltway.

For a large corporation like this one, establishing an easy atmosphere is a challenge, but it is felt here. Fabio and Maria can take credit for helping this outlook along--adopting a professional, but familial style for Maestro and the Ritz. It's welcomed.

During the day, Maestro sits quietly, taking backstage to the goings-on of the Ritz. This is Washington, DC, and its clientele is one with an all-business agenda. But as the sun gently rests on this part of Fairfax County, the ambiance inside Maestro warms. It's slow at first as the kitchen staff appears and starts to practice--the sounds and smells shoot electricity across the room as guests are welcomed and shown to their seats.