Struggling with two identities: the case of Eileen

Career Development Quarterly, June, 2002 by M. Meghan Davidson, Nancy Huenefeld

In this article, the authors present a case example of a Chinese American lesbian woman who seeks counseling for career decision making. The client's career issues stem from cultural issues that have created a dichotomy in her life. Using an ecological model, the authors dissect the case, propose interventions, and identify potential problems that may arise.

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Career counseling is a complicated process of exploring a client's identity on many levels. Eileen, as presented in the case example, is a Chinese American client who is in the process of coming out as a lesbian. Growing up in a close traditional family, Eileen is faced with choosing a career either in or outside of the two cultures with which she identifies.

In this article, we use an ecological model to explore the macrosystem, microsystem, and individual microsystem levels of Eileen's issues. We also discuss counseling issues, interventions, and potential problems in the cultural context.

Case Example

My name is Eileen, and I am 23 years old. I was born in the United States 2 years after my parents moved here from mainland China. I have an older sister who was born before my parents came here and also a younger brother. Even though I wasn't born in China, I do have a Chinese name--AiLing. My parents wanted that. Eileen, of course, is my Anglicized name from AiLing. They moved to America for the opportunity to have a new life away from communism, and they have worked very hard to make a better life for their children. My father owns a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco's Chinatown. We are a very close family; my parents live in an outer part of Chinatown, and my grandparents live on the top floor of my parents' house. Growing up, I saw my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins everyday. The school I attended was mixed--Chinese and White. My mother wanted me to be able to be American--to some extent--and learn English so that I would have more opportunities. My father and mother always speak Chinese, but my mother knows a little English. My brother, sister, and I translate for my parents and grandparents for things like legal documents. Now, I live about a mile away from Chinatown with a roommate to save costs.

Well, I guess that's not the full story. I'm lesbian and my roommate is really my partner. It is strange to call her my partner--Nicole is the first woman I've ever actually dated. I came out about 1 1/2 years ago and met Nic 2 months later. We just clicked. I guess ... let me go back. I knew when I was 7 that I was different from the other kids. It's difficult to explain, but I just liked different things. I was interested in my father's business--not the cooking, but the business part--and used to follow him around at work. I played with the boys whenever I could and just bided time when the girls and women would sit and talk. When I was in eighth grade, I realized I had a crush on a female friend in school. She liked a boy in our class, and I was devastated. Later, I did have a crush on a boy but it just didn't seem to fit for me.

Nicole is so wonderful. She is from Irish and German descent, is 30 years old, and owns the house we live in. She's been out for 10 years, but she's not out at work. She keeps her work life and private life very separate--like me. No one in my family knows I am lesbian or that Nicole is my partner. They only know that she is my friend and roommate, and they accept her that way. My parents cannot know that I am lesbian--it is un-Chinese and not right in their eyes. Being out in one place but not another gets complicated and is draining. It can be a strain on our relationship.

I'm not sure how being lesbian affects my career, but I think it does affect my interests and so I thought you should know. I went to Stanford nursing school for 2 1/2 years but moved back home my junior year to help take care of my grandmother who was ill. I had my licensed practical nurse certificate and worked in a Chinatown clinic while helping with her. Now, I'm finishing my registered nurse degree at the university here, but ...I don't think I want to be a nurse. I can do it, I just don't like it. I was always good at math and science, and my family thought it was an honorable job for a woman. I feel like I need to find something else besides nursing. It feels like such a waste of time to have gone to nursing school if I really do change my mind. I think I want to do something in business. My family will be so upset. If they knew I am lesbian, then they would think that is why I am changing careers. It is, sort of, but I don't know. Maybe I should stay with nursing. There do seem to be a lot of lesbian nurses. I am out to a few coworkers, but I am scared that I could not be out at all in the business world. Especially if I work in Chinatown or near where I grew up. I don't know how long I can be closeted in some areas of my life and out in others. Do you think I should change careers?

Application of the Ecological Model

By using the race/gender ecological model (Cook, Heppner, & O'Brien, 2002), the counselor can begin to understand Eileen and her concerns in the context of the macrosystem and microsystem in which she lives, as well as at the individual level. At a macrosystem level, Eileen is affected by society's values, customs, and norms that provide messages about appropriate and inappropriate career paths, based on the cultural and gender context of which Eileen is a part. It is clear from the case presentation that Eileen is part of a tightly connected Asian American family and is surrounded by a society and community that encourages women to have "appropriate" careers, such as nursing or staying in the family business. Given her cultural and gender context, being immersed in the family is extremely important for Eileen, even though Eileen's parents support greater opportunities for her.