The Darndest Sayings Don't Belong to Grown-ups

School Administrator, Nov, 1998

Gone But Not Forever

Tom Rosenberger had a special friend during his final year as principal of Harrison Elementary School in Brainerd, Minn.--a precocious 2nd grader named Dexter.

Rosenberger's young friend took to saluting the school leader with a "Hi Tom!" whenever the two would cross paths. So when the principal announced last spring he planned to retire in June after 3 years, a concerned Dexter cornered Rosenberger in the cafeteria.

"Tom, is it true what I heard about you?" Dexter asked.

"What's that, Dexter?" the principal replied.

"Is it true that you're going to expire this year?"

(Source: Connections, Minnesota Department of Children, Families and Learning)

He's Not Fooling Around

To maintain his sanity, Boomer Wright, principal of Rhododendron Primary School in Florence, Ore,, starts off some days in one of his school's kindergarten classrooms.

One day, while watching the daily calendar exercise in which students quietly place a cutout spoon in their individual slots on the wall, the principal spotted an empty space. He asked the class if Jeff was present.

One small boy piped up, "No, Jeff is abstinent.

"I could only say, 'Good for him,"' Wright reports.

A Dumb Question

As a psychologist in the elementary schools of New York City, Ellen Armitage tries to gain a sense of a child's physical development before moving on to other assessments.

Recently, while interviewing a 7-year-old who seemed to have particularly large bones, she asked: "Are you the tallest one in your class?" When the youngster's response was unintelligible, she rephrased the question: "Who's the biggest one in your class?"

The boy shot a glance that seemed to say, "You're not very bright, are you?" His answer: "The teacher."

(Source: The New York Times)

Not Ready for the Gifted Class

A new school principal told Benjamin Levin, a dean at University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, how his 6-year-old daughter complains that she rarely sees her father at home anymore.

The father has tried explaining how he must spend many more hours learning a new and difficult job, whereupon the daughter responded with an obvious look of relief: "Is that all? Why don't you just ask them to put you in a slower group?"

Short humorous anecdotes, quips, quotations and malapropisms for this column relating to school district administration and school board govern once should be addressed to: Editor, The School Administrator, 1801 N. Moore St., Arlington, Va. 22209.

BOARD WATCH

(An occasional collection of unintentionally amusing and offbeat actions of state and local school boards and their members.)

No Comparison

After he served as a city councilman in Lexington, Ky., Jim Gardner won a four-year berth on the Fayette County school board. When that term ended, he left the board gladly, saying there was no comparison between the demands of the two elected posts.

"School board was much harder," he told the Associated Press. "People care about their children far more than weeds and potholes."

Five Who Fouled Out

As strong as any power move they've watched on the basketball hardwood, some residents in Allen Park, Mich., recently filed a recall petition to oust five members of their school board.

The reason for their disdain was the board's decision to hire an outsider over the longtime junior varsity coach to run Allen Park's varsity boys' basketball team this winter.

Superintendent Bill Kiefer told the Detroit Free Press he was disappointed by the recall threat based on one decision, calling it "unfair and certainly unfortunate."

More Pressing Demands

Could it be that school board members in Arizona harbor more serious concerns than academic achievement?

One might wonder after the Arizona School Boards Association was forced to cancel its annual summer meeting that offered details about the state's new diploma requirements, which take effect in 2001. The Arizona Department of Education also is distressed over the lack of board member participation at its regional forums on the new standards.

"If I were a governing board member, I can't think of anything I would need to know more about than standards," Billie Orr, associate superintendent of the education department, told The Arizona Republic.