No Dogs Here, Just Turkeys, Gnats and Bathroom Humor - anecdotes about school superintendents - Brief Article

School Administrator, Feb, 2001

A Turkey of an Offer

The week before Thanksgiving, many teachers in the Oswego City School District, located north of Syracuse, N.Y., found in their faculty mailslots a gracious message on Superintendent Gary Buehler's stationery. The letter indicated each would receive a turkey in "appreciation for your effort and achievement."

The only problem was Buehler didn't craft the note. His building principals were left to undo the fictitious offer.

The superintendent, bemused, took the high jinks in stride, noting, "Now if I only could figure out how to direct this creativity into the classrooms I think we'd be all set in terms of student achievement."

Gnats Entertainment

Jim Barney has been long removed from his days of drawing notice as a pretty decent soccer midfielder in high school and college.

So Barney, who's now superintendent in Old Fort, Ohio, was feeling good about the attention he was receiving during a clinic he was conducting for soccer coaches and players last fall. About halfway through a skills demonstration, he heard a round of clapping.

Barney felt pleased with himself until he turned around to discover the applause wasn't intended for him. Rather, the participants were busy swatting away mosquitoes that had come out that evening.

A Restroom Marathon

Rick Kaufman was working in a midsize school district in Wisconsin as the district's school public relations professional, a job that put him in regular contact with the news media. As he left his office one day, he told his administrative assistant he would return soon after a restroom break. Once at his destination, though, he ran into the superintendent and the two started a lengthy discussion about a pressing matter that continued in the latter's office for another 45 minutes.

When Kaufman returned to his office, he was handed a stack of messages about phone calls to return, including one to a local newspaper reporter. He responded to several, then got to the reporter about 90 minutes after the reporter had called him.

The reporter asked how Kaufman was feeling. "I'm OK, but why do you ask?" said Kaufman.

"Well," the reporter explained, "I called over an hour ago and your secretary said you would be right back, that you had just run to the restroom. When you didn't return the call right away, I just wanted to make sure everything was OK!"

Moral of the story for Kaufman, now executive director of communications services in Jefferson County, Colo.: Make sure your assistant uses discretion when reporting the boss is out.

A Superintendent With Spurs

James Hook wears cowboy boots and maintains his office as a shrine to American cowboys, with a life-size cutout of Roy Rogers and John Wayne, snapshots of Gene Autry and Dale Evans, plastic cowboy figures, a saddle and a bullwhip.

And he once rode a horse around the parking lot of his office, after the central-office secretaries in the Calvert County Schools in southern Maryland bought him riding lessons as a Christmas gift. It was his first ride on a horse. "Of course, I had to get on him and make a real big fool of myself," says Hook, the district superintendent.

Hook says his 13-year-old collection of cowboy memorabilia, which he began while serving as Calvert County's director of personnel, is a guaranteed conversation starter among office visitors, even irate parents. "They usually get a real bang out of it," he says.

A Striking Phenomenon

It's deja vu all over again in the North Smithfield, R.I., schools.

Bob Wallace rejoined the school district last fall as interim high school principal. Three years earlier, he spent five months as interim superintendent in the same district.

One common thread unites his two stints in North Smithfield: Teachers went on strike both times he was on duty. Wallace considers it an odd coincidence.

Ticker-Tape Truancy

After New York City Mayor Rudolph Guiliani stated it would be OK for children to skip school to attend the New York Yankees' World Series victory parade last fall, schools Chancellor Harold Levy complained to City Hall that truancy would not be allowed.

Guiliani seemed to delight in his disagreement over priorities, according to an account in The New York Times.

"I didn't say anybody should play hooky," said the mayor, who called tickertape parades "mind-expanding" events.

Red-Faced Moment

At an adult education seminar titled "Getting Organized," the presenter introduced herself to the class and described her qualifications on this specialized topic. Then she reached for her lecture notes.

Apparently, she was experiencing a bad organization day. She discovered she had brought along the wrong set of notes.

(Source: The New York Times)