An off-color nursery corner - Leadership Lite

School Administrator, March, 2003

Beastly Words

When Barbara Spilchuk was an administrator responsible for working with special-needs students in the Northern Lights School District in Alberta, Canada, she set up her office in an unused classroom, decorating it with plants, small trees and furniture brought from home. She put a seven-foot willow goose, dressed like Mother Goose, next to the fish tanks and a large rocking chair that was used for timeouts. The students called her room "Mother Goose's Roost."

At least once a week, Spilchuk had a regular visitor, a boy in kindergarten with extreme anger management problems. He would turn the room blue with his swearing before he would fall asleep in the big chair, totally exhausted by his bouts of anger. After a nap, he and Spilchuk would discuss his behavior and the increasing consequences it would bring.

Following a month of visits, the little fellow lost it again, and his classroom teacher headed for the phone on her desk to call for Spilchuk's intervention. Before she turned over the boy, the teacher whispered in Spilchuk's ear: "I think you're getting to him. As soon as 1 started walking toward the phone this time, he stopped his tantrum and begged, 'Please don't call that f----- Mother Duck! I'll be good."'

Back to Basics

Patricia Hester figured the time might be right to dispense with paper in favor of electronic communication, So instead of producing lengthy print versions of her school district's full array of professional development program offerings for teachers and administrators at the start of the school year, she posted the course descriptions and schedule on the Johnston County, N.C., district's website.

As the training days drew near, Hester realized it didn't matter how she communicated. Her phone began to ring incessantly. The most commonly asked questions included these:

* "In the course description, if it states 'continued after lunch,' does that mean I go back to the same workshop?"

* "If I want to register for a technology workshop and it says 'full,' does that mean I can't take the workshop?"

* "If it states the workshop is a sixhour workshop, does that mean I need to go to all six hours?"

* "Can you tell me step by step how to get online? And what is online?"

* "Does 'required' mean I have to go?"

Party Pooper

After working on her first school bond campaign 15 years ago, Lynn Brown-Quick attended the school district's victory party, exhilarated to be part of the celebration.

In leaving the party, she happened to walk out with the school district's bond counsel, a tall, lanky and totally serious fellow. "Isn't this exciting," she babbled away, thinking about all the projects the voters had approved. "This is going to be so great! What will we do first?"

"Well," responded the straight-laced bond attorney after a pregnant pause, "I'm planning to go straight home."

A Super Title

Max Riley, the superintendent in Lawrence Township, N.J., was wandering the school halls on the opening day of classes when a kindergarten teacher invited him into her classroom.

"This is Dr. Riley, our superintendent," she announced to the pupils. "He's a very important person in our district, and you should get to know him."

After the introduction, one little girl had figured out who exactly was in her midst. "Oh, so you're the superinkindergartener."

No Prunes in the Bunch

In an attempt to add some excitement to state testing day at the Sunset Ridge School in East Hartford, Conn., Principal Pauline Fusco is allowing students to wear their favorite hat to class and chew gum during their two-hour exam.

She's trying one other motivational tool: Students are given chocolate-covered raisins before taking the degrees of reading power test. "And we'll say, "Here's to raisin' your DRP scores," Fusco says.

(Source: The Hartford Courant)

Found Missing?

Two veterans of the superintendent ranks in upstate New York, Paul Kirsch (superintendent, Geneva, N.Y.) and Gary Buehler (retired superintendent, Oswego, N.Y.) shared their favorite oxymorons, which no doubt have landed on their desks at times: Genuine imitation, good grief, small crowd, passive aggression, terribly pleased, definite maybe, and working vacation.

Short humorous anecdotes, quips, quotations and malapropisms for this column relating to school district administration should be addressed to: Editor, The School Administrator, 1801 N. Moore St., Arlington, VA 22209-1813. Fax: 703-5282146. E-mail: magazine@aasa.org. Upon request, names may be withheld in print.