Only Heavenly Candidates Need Apply

School Administrator, June, 2000

Brutally Frank

When the Norwalk, Conn., school district last conducted a search for a new superintendent, the board of education ran an advertisement in a national newspaper that enumerated a lengthy list of challenges and duties.

The ad ended with this ominous note: "If you think this sounds like 'God on a good day,' we won't argue."

Highfalutin Substitute

Ben Canada, superintendent in Portland, Ore., makes it a practice to serve as a substitute teacher at least one full day a year. Typically, his true identity escapes most but not all students.

Last year, after he introduced himself to a 1st-grade class, Canada faced a small, blond-haired boy madly waving his hand at the beginning of the day.

"I know you," the youngster announced. "You're the man my mom cussed out on the telephone."

Prom Improbables

Scene: The foyer of an upscale hotel in Lynnfield, Mass., site of the Lexington High School spring prom.

Dramatis Personnae: Michael Waring, then the school's principal, and various teachers (and their spouses) serving as chaperones.

Action: A male chaperone asks Waring to keep a close eye on a young woman at the prom he suspects of harboring contraband. A female teacher then accompanies the girl into the ladies room, emerging a few minutes later with a handful of nip bottles of liquors that the now crestfallen girl had stuffed into her undergarments.

Waring was left to wonder how his male colleague had made this discovery since he wasn't the type to risk any appearance of impropriety. His colleague's clue? "She clanked when she walked," he said.

You Look Maaaarvelous

In an exercise designed to get students to like the look of their required school attire, the teachers wore the uniforms and the pupils taught the classes for a day recently at a secondary school in Katlehong, South Africa.

The teachers, donning clothes borrowed from their students, occupied the desks at the rear while the pupils handled the teaching duties.

The switch in roles had the desired effect on some. As one 10th-grader told a South African news service: "Our teachers looked so beautiful. I never thought a school uniform could make people appear so stunning. From now on we will all feel proud to be in our uniforms."

One Shining Moment

Charles Jeppson, principal at Jordan Ridge Elementary in South Jordan, Utah, was taking a turn at supervising the cafeteria during lunch hour. A freckle-faced, 3rd-grade girl approached.

"Mr. Jeppson, you're the best principal I've ever had," she said.

But the principal was dragged back to earth momentarily.

"Of course," she added, "you're the only principal I've ever had."