This disclaimer limits our liability - Abstract - Brief Article

Thrasher Magazine, August, 2002 by Mark Appleyard

All rights reserved. Not valid with other offers or specials. Space is limited. Other restrictions may apply. Not a flying toy. Celebrity voice impersonated. Professional driver on closed track. Management is not responsible for loss or damage. Dealer prices may vary. Do not try this at home. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Substantial risk of electric shock. In the event of litigation, you are liable for all legal fees. Made in Taiwan. To reduce printing costs, we have sent you only the forms you may need based on what you filed last year. Monitor not included. Portions not affecting outcome have been edited for broadcast. Printed on recycled paper. New customers only. Licensed and bonded. Does not apply for business or convention travel. Limited delivery area. Membership dues are not refundable. We make our mailing list available to selected organizations. Assembled in USA. Keep hands and feet away from moving parts at all times. Special engagement -- no discounts, passes or coupons accepted. Is this a funn y photo feature concept or what? Keep this and all chemicals out of the reach of children. Your financial institution may impose additional fees and charges. Use extra care when cleaning on stairs. Employees and authorized personnel only. Closed weekends and holidays. Use of the Software is governed by the terms of the end user license agreement. To avoid suffocation, keep away from children. This product is meant for educational purposes only. OJ did it. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Fruitbooters are to be set aflame only under adult supervision. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. See other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. For external use only. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Dildo may short-circuit and cause burns. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. List current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. No purchase necessary.

Post office won't deliver without postage. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Offer void where prohibited by law. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Use at own risk. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. Do not apply to broken skin. No passes accepted for this engagement. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well- ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. If rash develops, discontinue use. Not exactly as shown. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Still reading this shit? First 10 postcards that use code-word 'ribald fluffedry' will win some stuff. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices. This disclaimer may not be copied without the express written consent of whoever we stole it from. Any reproduction or redistribution of the Software not in accordance with the License Agreement is expressly prohibited by law, and may result in severe civil and criminal penalties. Your compliance with all terms and conditions, is automatic upon viewing. May not be reproduced, in whole or in part, by any means, mechanical or electronic, except for brief excerpts for the purpose of inclusion in reviews. Violators will be prosecuted to the maximum extent possible by law.