I'm not as think as you stoned I am

Thrasher Magazine, April, 2003 by Tony Vitello

The Condo

Sean Payne's parents hooked up the most badass condominium on the North Shore of Oahu. However, such excellent accommodations led to a week of visual pleasure and physical rejection. The day before we arrived at our place there were 50-foot waves crashing onto the shore, which removed all the sand from the beach. This natural feat may have hampered another team's fun, but not Think. See, smoking several joints before lunch transforms one into an adventurous tidepoll lurker.

There was one day when we even witnessed a rare Hawaiian phenomenon--the absence of sand on the beach exposed ancient Hawaiian petroglyphs that otherwise exist covered. It was at this amazing site I snapped some photos, while Pancho took long lens spy shots of girls in bikinis. Poncho loves his digital camera: "You can zoom in and then when you get the picture you can zoom in again."

DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA about Senor Fuenzalida, because he may actually be a genius. I mean, he was attending San Francisco State and studying physics. The thing about Danny is he gets sooooo unbelievably stoned that it's sometimes hard to acknowledge the credibility of what he's saying. Sure, he does spout some off-the-wall, obviously inaccurate shit, but he'll stun you when he breaks down the physics of light and sound. Regardless of what he says or smokes, Danny just kills it on a skateboard and he wants that to be his only acknowledged attribute. Nevertheless, if you ever meet him, ask about the fifth dimension, roll up a joint and break out the notepad. "I like smoking other people's weed, dude."

Not the Guy from Jackass

I understand that Poncho hates his constant confrontations with mistaken identity, but now is the time to take advantage of ignorant jackasses. "You're the guy from Jackass right?" No, Poncho Moler is not the guy from Jackass. Poncho is the guy with a bangin' 360 flip and ladies swingin' from his nuts. His noseslides are also level; however, any asshole who asks such a stupid question obviously pays no attention to skateboarding anyway. Therefore, we must exploit these people and steal the upper hand. At one spot the security guard thought that Poncho was the guy from Jackass. One of us cleverly explained to this demented individual that Pancho was, and we were filming for MTV. He wanted so badly to be down. Fuck MTV and fuck you for watching that shit. Poncho, start using these ignoramuses and draft an I-only-autograph-tits policy.

Nobody can consume as much marijuana as the Think team. These dudes are seriously on an astronomical mission to reach the highest place imaginable. A full day of smoke begins promptly at 9am and ends much later than you might anticipate. The favorite pastime on this Hawaiian vacation was torching doobies and staring out at the horizon for hours on end. It may seem unproductive to the outsider, but believe me when I say that gazing endlessly at the ocean stimulates the mind and produces numerous deep insights. And what would a group of stoners be without munchies? Well, I couldn't tell you. We had plenty of snacks. The market was a couple blocks away and our unregulated consumption made twice daily trips a necessity...nobody could stop my PB-and-J cravings. At night we would barbeque with Chef Nunn at the helm. His Texas BBQ background proved dynamite and none of us left the grill unsatisfied. I ate the greatest piece of Ahi tuna ever cooked, with help from a stimulated appetite. I love you Mary Jane.