Trick names are jacked! The half-Cab fallacy

SO, WE GET THIS LETTER FROM SOME WISE-ASS who tells us how we're doing it all wrong. Deathmetal Dave claims trick names are incorrect and then gives a doctoral dissertation on his thesis. Normally, that would be considered blasphemy punishable by death but in this case we admired his effort. This subject has been brought up before and it's funny 'cause people get really, really pissed and start flapping about skating's surf roots, the way you face on a ramp, the old farts in Dogtown and how Alva came down from the mountain with skating's 10 Commandments. We don't know too much down here at the plant hut we know skating and we know where the truth lies. We'll let you use your brain if you've got one and decide for yourself. This was just too good for Mail Drop so here's your spotlight, Einstein.

Dear Thrasher,

The system of naming skateboarding tricks is totally jacked and I can prove it. I'm talking specifically about the inconsistencies that arise with the terms 'frontside' and 'backside'. Kids all over the world mistakenly call the same tricks different names because of the illogical, counter intuitive way skating uses frontside and backside. Well, I'm going to break it down and I defy anyone to prove me wrong that skating uses frontside and backside in a highly inconsistent manner. Tricks will never, ever be renamed. I am well aware of this. I just think it'd be cool to finally acknowledge that the system is messed-up.

FLATGROUND

First off, forget surfing. Of course it's relevant but none of you will read even two more sentences if I start yapping about surf history. Instead, picture a regular footed skater kid popping 180s in a parking lot. Each 180 is frontside or backside, obviously. Now, try to define frontside or backside. It's tough. I came up with one way that should logically work. Frontside or backside is defined by the way you face when you've turned 90" (half-way) through a trick. It makes sense. There's a perfect logic to it. At that pivotal moment your orientation and momentum is either forward-facing (frontside) or backward facing (backside). Let's look. Each illustration is a 180[degrees] captured at 90[degrees]. When the arrows off of the toes are the same as the direction of movement, it's frontside (you're facing and moving forward). When they're opposite of the direction (you're leading with your heels and facing backward), it's backside.

I separated the half Cabs because if you look you'll see they're total anomalies. When you've turned 90[degrees] (half way) through a half-Cab your entire orientation is opposite of the trick name. You're turning backwards in a frontside half Cab and this is proved because it's the direction you face when the trick is captured at 90[degrees]) and you're facing forwards in a backside half Cab. Go ahead, stand up and pose some 180s. My definition of frontside and backside held true for six of the eight 180s, but all of a sudden doesn't hold true with the half-Cabs. Is my definition faulty? In what way? Tell you what, there's a cool million dollars waiting for you if you can come up with a definition that holds true for all eight of the eight flatground 180s. It's impossible. Try it. Here's where you stumble around the subject, saying it has to do with how our ancestors described facing a wave. Sure, use that if you can but I'm claiming that doesn't affect my observation. You can replace my skate 180s above with big carves on a wave or ramp and it still holds together.

RAILS LEDGES

This is where things go totally hay-wire. There's this bizarre pre-occupation in skating with describing what side of the ledge or rail you were facing when you did the trick. Was your back to the ledge/rail? Then it was backside. Were you facing the ledge/rail? Then it was a frontside trick. That sounds all well and good until all of the inconsistencies pop up. If you do a frontside crooked grind, frontside noseslide and frontside boardslide on a rail, the term 'frontside' is used in all three cases to describe what side of the rail you faced. Fine, that works. But if you do a backside 180 nosegrind on the same rail (facing it the same way you just did on the previous three tricks) now the term backside is used to describe how you turned, and has nothing to do with how you approached the rail. And you know what, that's the way it should always be! It is not necessary to waste the terms frontside and backside to describe how you approached the obstacle. Instead, those terms should be used to describe only how you turned. A regular-footer busting a frontside bluntslide, noseslide and boardslide has actually turned his body backside on all of those tricks. He's looking over his left shoulder, his entire orientation and momentum, the very look and feel of the tricks, is of going backwards, so why not just logically call those tricks all backside? It's a perfectly accurate description of what he's doing--sliding backwards. If he did start on the other side of the rail, well, that's not hard to establish either. That's what the terms lipslide vs. boardslide, bluntslide vs. tailslide, and nosebluntslide vs. noseslide are for. They all instantly denote which side of the rail he started on, without using the terms frontside and backside for any other reason than how his body turned.