Johnny Layton: "front feebles—you know it dog!"

Thrasher Magazine, March, 2004 by Michael Burnett

What are you doing right now?

I'm shopping for my girlfriend.

What are you gonna get her?

I don't know. Right now I'm getting her some checkered slip-ons.

You're not getting her any weird underwear are you?

I got her some stuff at Bath and Body Works.

Yeah?

I got her a shirt from Active and this purse she wanted.

You're going all out.

Yeah.

I've never bought a girl that much stuff in my life. What are you going to get your parents?

My mom wants a portrait of me and my sister.

So are you going down to the Sears portrait studio?

Not tonight, but next week. And my dad probably wants something to do with hot rods, so I've got to find something for him.

What kind of photo background are you going to get for you and your sister?

I don't know,

There's a real nice one where you can be sitting on a bale of hay and leaning your elbows on a fake barnyard fence.

What?

I've seen it. It looks real nice.

We're just going to get the one where it looks like the sky.

How about the one with rainbow lightning bolts with a second shot of your profile floating over it in the corner?.

That sounds way too tech.

You're probably right. Seeing as you're a relative newcomer, let's get some of the fun facts out of the way--age, hometown, sponsors, etc.

OK. I'm 18 and I live in Murietta, California. That's out in the desert, huh?

Yeah. It's like the South Inland Empire.

Who are the sponsors?

Toy Machine blood-sucking skateboard company, Emerica, Thunder trucks, Pig wheels, Active and Krew clothing.

WOW. You're stacking 'em on. What was the most frightening time you ever had touring with Pigpen when you rode for Rollmodel?

Just staying in places with people I didn't even know who were doing drugs. One time we were in the van and Pigpen was chewing tobacco and spitting it in a bottle. He went to empty the bottle and dumped it out the window and it flew back into the back window all over me.

Sweet. Did he say he was sorry?

I don't think so. He just looked back there and was like, "Ugghhh,"

Was it difficult for you to quit Rollmodel? Did you have to get jumped off?

No. I told Neil and he wasn't too happy. He was like, "Whatever, man!" I told him thanks for helping me out but he wasn't really talking after that.

What was the most challenging part of King of the Road? Did you make out with the mom and the daughter in Louisville?

No, just the daughter.

What was wrong with the mom?

Nothing, I just wasn't down with the 43-year-old mom.

Why? She was kind of cute.

Yeah, but Diego had already made out with her and gotten the 50 points. Anything for 50, right?

Was it a lot of pressure, seeing as how you were trying to get on the team at the same time?

Yeah. I was really nervous. That was tight when I met Diego. Getting to know him was really rad. I just tried to skate hard and do my best.

How did Diego look in that banana hammock?

I remember shopping for it and Gareth was so afraid to come out of the dressing room.

I think Diego looks kind of square--like the perfectly square man.

I don't know. I wasn't really checking him out too much in the hammock.

Were you scared the first time you saw Scott Bourne's shocking arms?

Not really. At first I was kind of nervous around him. I thought the black arms were covering up Nazi tattoos. That's what I'd heard. I found out that was not true. He was really nice. I was glad he came on the trip.

What did you and Harold talk about when it was just the two of you?

I was never really one-on-one with Harold. I only met SAD when we saw him at the airport.

Do you think you could eat more burgers than Harold if you were really, really hungry?

Possibly, I've eaten a lot of Taco Bell double deckers in my day.

What's your record?

I've eaten seven or eight in one sitting.

Are you still growing?

Yeah. I'm six foot now, but I don't think I'm slowing down.

Did you even know who Randy Colvin was?

Yeah. I lived next door to this kid Jeremy who used to always tell me stories about getting to skate with Randy.

Having started skating in the '90s, was it weird to have '90s legend Josh Beagle in the van?

You know what? I started skating in '97 or '98 so I didn't know who Beagle was until maybe a year ago. I was always really into Arto and Rowley and Kirchart.

Who do you think was the best dancer on the trip?

Mike, you know you were the best dancer.

I agree. I notice that you seem to bounce back from injuries really quickly; like, you'll be limping one second and hard-flipping the next.

Yeah. I just hurt my toe the other day. I slammed it really bad and thought I broke it. But then I was skating three days later.

That's all the milk. Do you have any crazy desert stories?

Like what?

Have you ever ridden a dune buggy?

No. I've never ridden one of those.

What about rattlesnakes?

My friend Jeremy had one. He caught it and kept it at his house for awhile. It was sketchy.

Rattlesnakes might look cute and cuddly, but they're not good pets.

Yeah, especially since he had a baby.