Adrian Mallory: "I sit on the computer all day"

Thrasher Magazine, July, 2004 by Rhino

Let's get some vital stats out of the way. How old are you and where are you from?

I'm 17 and I'm from Ocean Beach, California.

And you're a Pig man?

Yeah, Pig wood, Pig wheels and 88 shoes.

Tell me a little hit about the Ocean Beach skatepark. Did you skate before they built it?

No, I didn't.

Describe the park to someone who's never been there.

It's not smooth.

Why's it so rough?

They mixed up the concrete wrong and it just sucks now.

Has riding such a slow, rough skatepark given you an advantage on normal terrain?

Yeah, I guess, since I go there every day.

Do you feel like you're flying at a normal skatepark?

Yeah, pretty much. It feels a lot better.

Who's the baddest dude at the OB skatepark?

What do you mean by that?

Who's the ripper? Who's the guy everybody can't stop talking about because he rips the place so hard?

I used to idolize Peter Hewitt when I'd go there, when I was little. When it first opened, Pete would come in there and have the smoothest style and do the biggest airs.

Sounds like he's the baddest dude.

Yeah.

Growing up in OB, I'm surprised you didn't become an extreme longboarder.

Oh yeah. Grow out my dreads.

What's your opinion on extreme longboarding?

I don't get it. If you're gonna skate like a normal skater, why not do it on a short board?

What about soul skating?

I don't know anything about that.

Has shit ever hit the fan over at that park?

Not really.

Have you ever seen a drug deal go down there?

Have I ever not seen a drug deal go down there?

Do you ever meet chicks down on the strand when you're begging for spare change?

No. Never.

Did you have to jump off a barn to get on Natural Koncepts?

No, I did not. That sounds fun, though. I would have.

What made you decide Natural Koncepts wasn't for you?

Well, Pig was in San Diego so that helps a lot. They were nice when 1 quit. They understood completely.

Yeah, they're nice guys. I know in the last year you've grown your hair out and sort of have a heavy metal look going. Are you sick of people asking you if you're Tony Trujillo?

I really don't get it that much.

There are worse people to be compared to.

Yeah. I really like the way he skates. He's got a great Style.

Did you skate tranny before street?

Yeah. I had a mini-ramp in my backyard.

Can you do McTwists?

No. Not even.

Handplants?

You saw my attempt at handplants on the King of the Road trip!

Speaking of KOTR, did you ever catch any shit from your lady over the hijinx in Louisville?

Nah. She got mad for a little, but she got over it.

I hear you're a computer nard.

Yeah, I sit on the computer all day.

You're not doing any of that shit like in War Games are you?

Nah, I don't play games. I'm trying to learn Photoshop but it's hard as shit.

So you're a gnarly slash dog who likes to compute in his spare time?

Yeah, I guess. I make a lot of stencils in Photoshop and then cut them out.

Are you a real hesh or just a fashion hesh?

I don't know.

OK. I'll give you a test. Do you ever ride your BMX bike with no seat to the 7-11?

If I had a dirt bike, and I had to go to 7-11, for sure.

Do you have a comb or a brush in your back pocket right now?

No.

Is all your music in cassette form?

No.

Well, I'm afraid you're not a real hessian.

Well, I'm no Navarrette!

Do you cut your own hair?

No.

When was the last time you cut it?

About six months ago.

Are you ever gonna cut it?

Yeah, not short, but I'll cut it.

That's the wrong answer. You're supposed to say, "I ain't never gonna cut my hair!"

OK. I ain't never gonna cut my hair, damnit!

Are bandannas in the future for skating with long hair for you?

Never! How dare you ask such an insulting question.

While we're on the topic of bandannas, I heard a rumor Jamie Thomas called you to ride for Fallen shoes; what happened with that?

I ride for 88, duh!

Have you ever had to fight for rock 'n' roll?

No. I usually just have my headphones on so I don't have to worry about it.

Who's your top three?

Bands? Slayer, Maiden, and I've been listening to chick bands lately.

Chick bands? Like Tori Amos?

Nah. Bands with chicks in 'em. Like Sahara Hotnights.

OK ... A little dancey, a little new?

Yeah.

You go to fake school?

Yeah, I'm starting fake school.

Why?

So I won't have to deal with people.