How to get an awesome cast

Thrasher Magazine, Oct, 2004 by Michael Sieben

TWO WEEKS AGO I received my first cast ever. I can't believe I waited almost 30 years to have a large portion of my body immobilized with fiberglass. Trust me, if I'd known it was going to be this awesome I would have gotten one years ago. The itching, the smell, the difficulty performing daily chores ... it's all just so terrific. Here's how you can get a cast of your very own.

Step 1. When your friend "Texas Adam" visits you (from Louisiana?) and asks if you want to go skate, say "Sure."

Step 2. Head to the local Mad Max style backyard ramp complex. The one near my house is called the Banana Farm. I don't know what yours is titled.

Step 3. Make sure that you bring four bottles of beer with you. Lone Star if possible, but if you live somewhere other than Texas feel free to go with High Life, Budweiser, or Olympia. Keep it shitty.

Step 4. Give Adam one of your beers and drink the other three by yourself.

Step 5. Skate for a few hours and then sit in the shade and bum beers off of the other ramp attendees. While you're chilling feel free to comment on Adam's skateboarding with the other spectators. He's really good, you know?

Step 6. After you've had a couple more beers, get up and think to yourself, "A few more runs and then I'm done."

Step 7. Drop in, do a little backside ollie over the hip and then carve through the 90-degree corner. Make sure that you let your board get a little bit ahead of your body as you come out of your carve.

Step 8. As your board shoots out from under you, do a little slide on your hip and put your hand behind you so that you unknowingly fracture your wrist.

Step 9. Get up, get back on the deck of the ramp, contemplate barfing and then continue to skate for an hour or so.

Step 10. You'll have to hold your arm sort of weird because of the pain, so pretend that you're a Tyrannosaurus Rex and you won't feel so weird about your new-found style.

Step 11. Go to the doctor a few days later and get diagnosed with a non-displaced scaphoid fracture which has a recommended treatment of six weeks with a long arm thumb spica cast, followed by a short arm thumb spica cast for an additional six weeks.

Step 12. Drive home from the doctor with one hand and say to yourself, "Fuck yeah, dipshit."

Step 13. Figure out a way to sell the story to Thrasher so you can pay your medical bills.

(Note: if you don't skate transitions then just lay your arm against a curb and have one of your buddies stomp on that shit. And if you're too young to drink, replace beer with weed.)