Jon Allie

Thrasher Magazine, Oct, 2004 by Michael Burnett

THE DESK IN MY OFFICE IS QUITE A MESS. SWITCHBLADES, BLOW TORCHES, FIREWORKS--ALL SORTS OF JUNK. BUT IT'S HOME TO ME. ONCE IN A WHILE PEOPLE STOP BY AND WE SHOOT THE SHIT ABOUT LIFE, SKATING AND WHATNOT. NO, IT AIN'T LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS, BUT IT'S MINE. NOT LONG AGO, MIKE BURNETT CAME THROUGH TOWN WITH THE ZERO TEAM. THE USUAL THINGS WENT DOWN; JOKES, MAG TALK AND SPOTS. EVENTUALLY THEY LEFT TO GO KILL SOME SPOTS IN THE CITY. WHEN I RETURNED TO MY THRONE I NOTICED SOMEONE HAD CARVED THEIR NAME IN MY DESK. I WAS LIVID. UPON FURTHER INSPECTION I SAW IT WAS JON ALLIE. AT FIRST I WAS MAD. THEN I REALIZED HE'S JUST A SKATE RAT LIKE ME. I GOT HIS NUMBER FROM MIKE, CALLED HIM UP, AND TOLD HIM I WAS GONNA GET HIM BACK. "I SAW THE KNIFE AND SAID 'FUCK IT'," ALLIE QUOTED. WELL, REMEMBER ALLIE, PAY-BACKS ARE A BITCH. MAYBE NOT NOW, MAYBE NOT NEXT YEAR BUT BELIEVE ME--IT'S COMING, FUCKER.--JAKE PHELPS

What made you decide to carve your name in Jake's desk?

I have no idea. I just saw the knife and it looked like a good time.

You were sitting in his chair, too. Nobody sits in his chair!

How was I supposed to know? I don't know Phelps!

What happened when he found out?

Basically I got a random phone call from him. I had no idea who it was. It was a different area code from San Francisco so I was like, "Who's this?" I answer the phone, and he says, "What's up, fucker? Do you know who this is?"

I'm like, "I have no idea who this is!"

You called me up and said, "Dude, Phelps just called me! I carved my name in his desk!"

I was like. "What the fuck? How did Phelps get my number?" And you're all, "I gave it to him. I thought that might be a nice surprise."

Well, wasn't it?

It was a surprise. I don't know if it was a nice one. He called me up and was all, "You don't know who the fuck you're messing with! I'll get you back, fucker!"

Has he gotten you back?

Not much bad has happened, but he calls me every once in awhile now.

What does he want to talk about?

Random shit. Skating. He wants to see what's going on. "So, you droppin' hammers, fucker?"

Does any other magazine editor call you like that?

No, not that I can remember, He just calls me up and makes sure I'm skating "You shredding?" It's like he calls up to check up on me.

So how are things going for you?

Pretty good.

What are you, 20?

Twenty-two.

You've had a board out on the market for a year now, How's that shit movin'?

It's doing all right. I hope kids are snatching them up.

Do the kids know who you are at the demos yet?

Yeah. At least half of them. Half if I'm lucky.

Which dude do the kids never know who he is?

I don't know if it's never, but on the last tour James Brockman got mistaken for Tommy Sandoval a lot. They have similar hair. And Chris Cole gets mistaken for Jamie Thomas sometimes, I don't know how.

The kids aren't paying very close attention. The easiest way to tell the difference between Brockman and Tommy is that the one with a caterpillar on his lip is Tommy.

Yeah. Either that or he's the one with the tattoo on his chest that says "Die Trying."

If you were to get a tattoo on your chest, what would it say?

I wouldn't get one.

C'mon! "Die Trying?" "Life's Too short to Wuss Out?"

Maybe "Born to Lose."

You don't really believe that, do you? It seems like it's been a pretty easy go for you so far.

Easy?

Yeah. You moved out from Wisconsin and were pro in like two years! How long has it been?

Since I moved out? Three years.

What was the first skate spot you skated in California?

It was Brooklyn school in San Diego.

What'd you do on it?

Kickflip front board, tailslide, crooked grind, nosegrind--I don't know. The basics. Some bullshit.

Did you move out by yourself?

Yeah. I went out with my friend but he had to go back to school. I moved in with the only person I knew--this guy Joe. We lived in Point Loma and he happened to be roommates with Aaron Snyder.

So the first famous skater you saw was Snyderman?

Yeah.

What were those days like?

I was excited. It was sunny out!

Were you so excited that you went berzerker and killed yourself every time you got to a spot?

Kill myself? I didn't get hurt at all. I just skated. It was fun to skate 'cause all the rails were good.

Did you look to the Snyderman as a role model on how to get into the sponsored scene?

Not really. I just made a tape on my own and gave it to Jamie Thomas,

It's just that easy.

I guess.

I heard when you first moved out here that you were kind of a weirdo. Are you still a weirdo?

Fuck yeah.

Is this something new?

No. It's always been there, Everyone's a little bit crazy.

What's the weirdest thing about you?

What? I'm normal! Everyone else is crazy.

Are you still eating nothing but yogurt?

I'm allergic to dairy. I swear man: I get fucked up every time I eat it.

Some people think you're a little socially awkward. Is that true?

Totally.

How did that affect you in high school?

Fuck high school! Such a waste of time.

I take it you didn't get along well with them other kids.

No. I was fine. I got along fine. I knew all those kids my whole life. My problem is that usually when I meet someone for the first time it's all awkward, and I think, "Fuck this, I don't even want to talk to 'em." But then after you're forced to talk to them everything's fine. Before that it's like, "Hey, man. I don't want to talk to you. I don't even know you! I already got friends. I don't need anymore!"