Dead last

Thrasher Magazine, Dec, 2004 by Jasin Phares

The next day we all had a big skate jam at 3rd and Army where the results were given. This is where we were reminded that we didn't score high enough. We may have had the most fun--but fun didn't transfer into points.

We had a great time when it was all said and done. You can't go wrong with the coffin and all the sweet spots we skated. Oh yeah, my diaper rash finally did go away once I broke down and wore shorts.

I'd like to thank everyone who helped us on the way. You know who you are and I'm glad you're all in this big family called skateboarding. Jimmy, you're the King of the Midwest.

10 WAYS TO LOSE KOTR

10. Start the race after three months of consecutive touring

9. Watch Night of the Living Dead every night in your hotel room until five in the morning Sleep in 'til 2:00pm

8. Focus on making out with a lady who's at least five years older than you--every night. Only worth 10 points (lowest point category)

7. Spend half of the tour/budget building an evil coffin for a trick worth only 10 points

6. Get beat up by two cowboys at the halfway point of the race. Try to earn points in the pool with bruised kidneys

5. Get sympathy points from a lady instead of real points for the contest

4. Fly one of your riders home to win Battle of the Bands midway through the race

3. Win it all last year and still be celebrating during this year's race

2. Spend most of the race searching for reasons to incorporate a sombrero into the mix (worth no points)

1. Have your last years MVP softened by his girlfriend