Thrashing through the ages

Thrasher Magazine, Jan, 2005 by Michael Burnett

"CAN YOU DARKSLIDE?"

AGE 8-12

Board: Wet Willy

Idols: Bam, Tony Hawk, Harry Potter

Role model: "Tony Hawk!"

Video: Tony Hawk's Trick Tips/Veggie Tales

Tricks: Dropping in, fatty to flatty

Just discovered: Viva La Bam

Accessory: Kool-Aid mustache

Hair: Bowl cut

Clothes: Red shorts, T-shirt from Sears that says "Radical!" on it

Shoes: Andy Macs from Payless

Mecca: The X-Games

Big question: "Can you darkslide?"

Minor concern: Bed-wetting

Major distraction: Nap time, little sister

Reason to quit: X-Box, left board out in the rain

Maxim: "Hey! Look at me!"

"ARE YOU SPONSORED?"

AGE 13-17

Board: Bam

Idols: Bam, Andrew Reynolds, Jamie Thomas

Role model: Bam

Video: Misled Youth, Jackass The Movie

Just discovered: Girls, how to pop kickflips, beer tastes better after three of 'em

Tricks: 360 flips, back lip the park bar

Accessory: Heart-o-gram belt buckle, video camera

Hair: Shaved

Clothes: Baggy jeans, Deca T-shirt from bargain bin

Shoes: Shoe-goo'ed Rowley 1's

Mecca: Beverly Hills High

Big question: "Are you sponsored?"

Minor concern: "Should I be sponsored?"

Major distraction: Girls, butts, girls, boobs

Reason to quit: "My dad bought me a fuckin' car!"

Maxim: "Skate or die!"

"WHY AREN'T I SPONSORED?"

AGE 18-22

Board: Shop blank

Idols: Geoff Rowley, Heath Kirchart, Mark Appleyard

Role model: Jim Greco

Video: Really Sorry

Just discovered: Weed, beer, "Music is awesome!"

Tricks: 360 flip down eight, klckflip back lip the park bar

Accessory: Cell phone, iPod, video camera with death lens, fake ID

Hair: Emo mop

Clothes: Snug black jeans, white T with "Black Sabbath" written on it in magic marker

Shoes: Reynolds 2's

Mecca: Hollywood 16

Big question: "Why aren't I sponsored?"

Minor concern: "Should I just start being a filmer?"

Major distraction: Work, girlfriend, trying to get a girlfriend

Reason to quit: Torn ACL, starting a band

Maxim: "Skate and destroy!"

AGE 23-27

Board: Whatever's free

Idol: Cardiel

Role model: Templeton

Video: Super-8 pool documentary made by friend in art school

Just discovered: You're never getting sponsored, pools are fun

Tricks: Smith grind the big bowl, front board the park bar

Accessory: Cooler of Coors, Anti-Hero can wrap, Holga camera

Hair: Emo mop/ironic mullet or mohawk

Clothes: Dickies, Thin Lizzy shirt size small

Shoes: Vans slip-ons

Mecca: San Francisco, NYC

Big question(s): "Any cold ones left in there?" "Are you coming to my art show?"

Minor concern(s): "Fuck. Am I getting fat?" "How old are those young lookin' chicks?"

Major distraction: Work, girlfriend, fecalface.com

Reason to quit: Torn ACL, concentrating on band/art, you live in the South

Maxim: "Skating has always been more to me than just skating. You know?"

AGE 28-32

Idol: Blender

Role model: Hewitt

Video: Beer, Bowls and Barneys

Just discovered: Girlfriend doesn't want to be just a girlfriend forever

Tricks: Frontside scratch grind the big bowl, fatty to flatty

Accessory: Wife

Hair: Closely cropped to mask balding

Clothes: Pegged jeans, Pabst Blue Ribbon shirt size large

Shoes: White Cab 5's with choked laces

Mecca: Oregon

Big question: "Am I getting too old for this?"

Minor concern: "Are those kids on the street course making fun of me?"

Major distraction: Mortage, back fat

Reason to quit: Torn ACL, low-carb diet makes you tired all the time

Maxim: "Fuck it. dude!"

AGE 33 +

Board: Deathbox Mike Folmer

Idol: Alva

Role model: Salba

Video: Gullwing Inside Out

Tricks: Carve the light, pump the bumps

Accessory: Toddler, video camera, scrap book, JFA cassette tape, hip pads

Hair: Covered with Flyaway helmet

Clothes: Jean shorts, stretch-necked Santa Cruz shirt from 1988

Shoes: Chuck Taylors with duct-taped toes

Big question: "Why aren't I a legend?"

Minor concern: "Really, why? I've been skating as long as Salba."

Major distraction: Mortgage, alimony, eBay

Reason to quit: Dislocated hip, heart attack

Maxim: "You seen Dogtown and Z-Boys? Yeah, that was me."