Getting over their grief: two sisters' love for fitness helps keep their family strong

Muscle & Fitness/Hers, August, 2003 by Kristine Marayag

my sister Amillita (Ami) and I were born in the Philippines, but for the most part, we were raised in Phoenix, Arizona, along with our brother, Jemarc, and our sister, Milagros. We were brought up by our mother, who taught us the value of a goal-oriented lifestyle. Ami attended the Naval Academy and is currently a Marine Corps captain in Twentynine Palms, California. I graduated from high school with honors and am in my junior year at Santa Clara University in Northern California, where I devote most of my time to the Army ROTC program and numerous volunteer service projects.

The last two years, however, have been an emotional roller coaster for our entire family. Milagros died in June 2001 in a horrific car accident. She was only 20 years old. The grieving process affected our eating and sleeping patterns, and depression was inevitable. On numerous occasions, we went weeks with little or no sleep, followed by days of endless napping. At times, it brought us comfort to overeat, but just as often, we immersed ourselves in hours of work to avoid our thoughts, leaving us no time for meals.

We kept in contact through it all, and we found that our phone calls and letters of encouragement were important in helping us deal with our grief. Although we were hundreds of miles apart, Ami and I found strength in motivating each other to stay active and healthy. Now, we constantly share information about our progress, diet tips and training ideas. We continue to laugh and cry together; we fight and bicker just as other sisters do, but we always remember to appreciate one another. We know that Mila will always be with us, and she reminds us each day to love, care for and help each other, no matter the circumstances.

Sister Act

Ami, who's 25, has completed the Naha Marathon in Okinawa, Japan, and scored in the top percentage on the Marine Corps Physical Training test, which consists of a three-mile run, crunches and an arm hang. She is a certified scuba diver and enjoys rock climbing and going on long mountain-bike rides in the desert. Ami aspires to complete a half Ironman triathlon someday and wants to learn to wakeboard.

I'm 21 and have participated in the AIDS Walk twice and the Pro-Life March in Phoenix. I ran the 12K Bay-to-Breakers in San Francisco last May and completed the 26.2-mile Bataan Death Commemoration March in White Missal Sands, New Mexico, that April. I enjoy rock climbing, skateboarding and long runs around the farmland near my mother's house. Last August, I learned to jump out of airplanes, and I hope to graduate from Airborne School. I'd also like to complete a triathlon and learn to surf.

Our weekly training plan varies with the demands of work and school. We train six days a week, doing both cardio and weights each day. Our cardio alternates between shorter, faster runs and longer, slower jogs, along with cross-training on the stationary bike or elliptical trainer. We also swim and jump rope. We train bodyparts in this order: back/biceps, chest/triceps, legs, back/biceps, chest/triceps, and finally push-ups/pull-ups. We train abs and do short yoga sessions every training day.

We strive to eat small meals every three hours, balancing the four basic food groups based on the nutrition pyramid. Portion control is the key to meals--we avoid anything in excess. We find that keeping journals is useful because it allows us to track our progress and our weaknesses. Writing reinforces our daily accomplishments and simultaneously provides an emotional outlet for our thoughts and feelings.

Ami and I train together whenever possible--we see each other once every few months. Our mother always taught us to have a strong will, and we believe that we can overcome life's trials together.