Body politics - young mens' observations on girls who worry about their weight - Brief Article

CosmoGirl!, Dec, 2001

Why this guy hates it when you obsess about your weight.

Andrew

19, Buckinghamshire, England

When I was younger, I had a close girl friend who would go on and on about her weight. She would always make negative comments about how her clothes didn't fit. I can honestly say that when I first met her, her appearance wasn't the first thing I noticed. But she made such a big deal out of it that the sad fact is, she drew my attention to the way she looked and away from her personality. At the end of the day, she may as well have had a shirt on saying, "Look at me--I'm fat!"

weight a minute!

I understand why my friend (and why lots of other girls--fat and thin) talk about their weight so much. Today the whole world seems to be obsessed with body image. (Here in the U.K., it seems like the number of weight-loss products and advertisements has quadrupled in the last 10 years.) But when girls constantly complain about their bodies, it makes guys crazy. No guy wants to go out with a girl who, every 10 seconds, has to be told that her bum doesn't look big. And no guy in his right mind would actually say "yes" when a girl asks, "Do I look fat?" So we're left having to compliment you all the time--about something you care about a lot more than we do. And sooner or later we'll leave--not because of your size, but because we're fed up with telling you we love you no matter what you look like.

the naked truth

But the real turnoff is that it shows a lack of confidence. Before others can truly love you, you have to accept yourself for who you are, You teach others to value you by the way you value yourself. So girls who are content with themselves automatically become more attractive. If you think you look great, other people will put a higher value on you too. Also, if you refuse to obsess over your appearance, it shows us guys that you aren't superficial and that you'll be less concerned with any imperfections that we may have as well.

pounds of wisdom

You're probably thinking, Yeah, but guys don't have to care what they look like as much as girls do. But I know what it's like to dislike your body. I used to be overweight, and then I lost 30 pounds. While I was dieting, I think my friends would say I was obsessed. They pointed that out to me, and I learned that losing weight couldn't be the No. 1 thing I talked about all the time.

Personally, I don't mind whether a girl is large or small, tall or short. I just look for one who's happy with who she is. Yes, sure, there are some girls out there who have had one too many slices of pizza, but I'd much rather date one of them than go out with a girl who won't even eat when we're out to dinner together.

Answer the question, please!

Tell the truth! How important is a girl's body to you?

"Not very. None of my girlfriends have I had Baywatch badies. But they all had great eyes. Eyes can make a girl really attractive to me,"

Ryan 18

PROSPECT HEIGHTS, IL

"It's important A girl's body definitely matters to me. I mean, I need to have someone who! can hold onto sometimes!"

Reggie 19

IRVINGTON, NJ

"Personality is more important. If a thin girl says she's fat to get attention, she needs to work on some other stuff--not her body."

Dewey 18

BERWYN, PA