How do you feel about America NOW? - women refugees react to terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001

Marie Claire, Dec, 2001

year, thousands of women escape their war-torn countries to seek the freedom and promise of life in the U.S. Here, 12 of them share their stories--and how terrorism can't shake their faith in the future

"I NEVER FELT ACCEPTED UNTIL I CAME TO AMERICA."

* I was raised in Jordan, born in Saudi Arabia, and my family is from Palestine. I never felt accepted anywhere until I came to America three years ago. But now, I'm frightened--will I be attacked because of my religion? I'm a Muslim, and I wear the traditional head scarf proudly. The prophet Mohammed said, "Do not kill women or children, do not destroy buildings." Anybody who attacks unarmed civilians is not a true Muslim!

Suzan Sabawi, 24, student

"I FELL IN LOVE WITH NEW YORKERS."

* I was so antsy after the Trade Center attack, I couldn't watch the blow-by-blow account on TV. So I walked the streets for two days. And it was during those two days that I fell in love with New Yorkers. They were devastated, but so dignified. People were talking to each other quietly, worried and concerned. In India, after the mosque attack and our own Trade Center bombing, there were mass riots and violence; people were hysterical, talking such hate. In New York, people were hurting, but all anyone wanted to do was help.

Ruchira Gupta, 36, former journalist

"I'M WORRIED THE U.S. WILL FLATTEN AFGHANISTAN."

* As my friends and I huddled in my apartment after the explosions--shocked, dazed, unbelieving--it brought back nightmarish memories of doing the same with my family in Kabul, Afghanistan. Even the smell of the smoke, like burning rubber, was just how it used to smell then.

I'm just so worried the U.S. will flatten Afghanistan. Certainly, if Osama bin Laden is responsible, the Taliban must be held accountable. But the ordinary people have no control over the Taliban, and they have suffered so much: war, oppression, famine. So many are starving to death. They are as innocent as the poor people at the World Trade Center.

Wazhmah Osman, 27, film technician

"I LEFT ALBANIA AFTER BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT."

* I moved here last year from Albania. After being forced out of my office at gunpoint by soldiers, I quit my job, applied for political asylum, and left, alone, for America. I remember thinking, No more blood, just peace. When the World Trade Center was attacked, I said, "No, I do not believe that." I saw no soldiers beforehand, no battles--it's strange to see violence that is not part of war. --Sonia Lazellaria, 33, former payroll accountant

"I NEVER THOUGH IT COULD HAPPEN HERE."

* I just can't accept that the towers are gone. I used to work there. I used to take a subway there every day. Watching those people jump, I thought, That could have been me. It's just so awful.

It took me back to Beijing. As a 24-year-old student, I slept for nights in Tiananmen Square during the peaceful uprising. I was walking in the square when I heard strange noises--tanks were right behind me. I was stunned, terrified; there was no place to run. Then they started firing. I dropped to the ground, but dozens of others were mowed down. I was in shock, and a friend had to take me home. I was numb for a month, just blank.

I never wanted to live in a city with such violence again. I never thought it could happen here in America, never.

Risa Na, 37, marketing specialist

"YES I'M ARAB, BUT I'm ALSO AN AMERICAN"

* This country took me in, educated me, and gave me the right to speak my mind. So, when the World Trade Center fell, my heart fell with it. Yes, I'm an Arab, but I'm also an American. When I saw the images of people celebrating on the West Bank, I didn't want to be Arab. It's so sad that anyone, especially a fellow Muslim, could make me feel that way!

Ola Sabawi, 18, psychology student

"I UNDERSTAND AMERICAN ANGER."

* In Ireland, I lived in a Catholic enclave in a Protestant village loyal to the paramilitaries. The owner of a local store was shot in the head, in front of his wife and children, just because he was Catholic. Five years ago, my brother was murdered--he was mistaken for someone else. And just two months ago, a good friend of mine back home had a mail bomb thrown through her window. That's how death happens in Ireland. It never ends.

In this country, I fear retaliation and scapegoating of Muslims. I understand American anger. But do people want more innocents to feel this same pain? Believe me, it doesn't take away the pain of losing people you love. I know.

Grainne O'Donnell, 28, community activist

"I'M AS SHAKEN AS THE REST OF THE WORLD."

* Having grown up in the middle of war in Lebanon, being under attack is familiar, but it's not like you ever get used to it. I am as shaken as the rest of the world. As an American, I have had the privilege of the illusion of safety for 20 years now. And it's been nice to count on it.

Salma Abdelnour, 29, magazine editor

Reported by Justin Brown, Nina Davidovich, Deborah DiClementi, Christine Fenno, Jan Goodwin, Pilar Guzman, and Susan Morgan.

"PEOPLE AREN'T BORN HATING."

* Since the attack, I have been very cautious about being identified as an Israeli or a Jew. I'm even careful about where and when I say my name, and you won't catch me wearing a Jewish star around my neck. While mourning the horrific tragedies in New York and Washington, DC, many Israelis are relieved on some level that the rest of the world now understands what people in the Middle East go through every day. People aren't born hating, they are conditioned to hate.