Proud to be a vegetarian

Vegetarian Baby and Child, Sept-Oct, 2002 by Rebecca Ortinau

It happens to the best of us--we crowded around a dinner table with friends and new acquaintances, enjoying pleasant conversation about work, hobbies, and our lives. But somewhere between "Pass the salt, please" and "We'd like to see the dessert menu," the focus takes a turn to the ever-so-fascinating fact that you're a vegetarian.

For an adult who has chosen the lifestyle for health reasons and who has researched the many benefits of a vegetarian diet, providing an explanation may be no more difficult than reciting the alphabet. For those who've opted in for spiritual reasons, more effort and time may be required. In either case, the decision has most likely been well thought-out and will likely be presented with logic, feeling, and sincerity.

When a vegetarian child, however, is put on the spot after turning down a slice of pepperoni pizza at a birthday party with a shocked "But why?" from surrounding non-vegetarians, answers may not come as easily for them, and composure might be a little trickier to keep.

Despite the effort parents make to educate their children on the reasoning behind living a vegetarian lifestyle and the support they provide as children grow and become more aware, young vegetanans will encounter situations in which they have doubts about why they don't eat "like everyone else." While it would be ideal if our children could be raised in a world where all the extended family members, friends, schoolmates, and others they encountered on a daily basis were also vegetarian, for most, this isn't the case. And though we'd like to be able to protect them from teasing and ridicule by peers, or inappropriate questioning or comments from adults, it's not always possible.

One of the best ways parents can help their vegetarian children overcome such awkward moments is to begin building their confidence about veg diets from the start. Encouraging positive self-esteem, on top of providing continued support as children develop questions and begin exploring meaning for themselves, will guide young vegetarians more comfortably along the path of compassionate living that we wish for them to follow.

Self-esteem, simply defined, is feeling good about ourselves and liking who we are. For children, it also involves feeling accepted and valued by both adults and peers. Building healthy self-esteem in a child is a task that requires consistent and attentive participation from a parent-a responsibility extending far beyond simple reassurances that they're "doing great" or "doing the right thing." Vegetarian children, especially those who aren't privileged with a circle of friends--or even one friend--following a similar lifestyle, may face small blows to their self-esteem on a regular basis. If left unaddressed, brushed off, or covered with shallow and unsubstantiated praise, these little dents may begin to carve a deeper, more-difficult-to-repair wound in a child's emotional well-being.

Communication will play a vital part in building your vegetarian child's self esteem. But there are other significant and highly effective ways that you can help your child feel good about himself or herself and gain the same confidence and strength that you have in your decision to be a vegetarian.

Here are eight ideas parents can use to make a difference:

1. Provide consistent and complete support. If your child encounters a difficult situation, talk through it with her. Give her your full attention, setting aside whatever else you're doing to demonstrate your sincere concern. Encourage her to share her feelings and let her know that she is safe doing so with you. If she has questions, answer them as fully as possible--consulting other sources (books, magazines, websites) together until she has gained a comfortable level of understanding. Let her know that she can always come to you when she feels uncertain or troubled.

2. Emphasize the importance of your child's vegetarianism.

Help your child understand that he is one of a large group of vegetarians who together make a difference in the world. Explain that his actions as an individual do count!

Let him know that he is one more person working toward helping animals, and that each person more makes the group even larger and better able to do good in the world. If he is at an appropriate age, share with him details of the environmental damage that occurs as a result of meat production, and emphasize that his vegetarianism plays a part in making sure the earth stays clean and a safe place for people to live. Assure him that both the animals and the earth appreciate what he is doing.

3. Introduce your child to other vegetarians. Interaction with other vegetarians on a regular basis will help your child feel accepted and part of a like-minded community. Get together with vegetarian friends to share a meal whenever you can to show your child in the most direct way possible that others do eat the way she does. Having other vegetarian children present is ideal.

If your family does not have any vegetarian friends, try to find a vegetarian group that holds potlucks, picnics, or events in your area. Check with a local natural-food store, hospital or alternative health care center, park district office, or library. If you don't have luck with any of these options, try an Internet search. Many vegetarian groups on the Web would be more than happy to help you find events in your area.